Page 13 of Dangerous

Katy/Katherine

Igroaned as the sound of Liam’s soft cries woke me up. After three nights of interrupted sleep—and by interrupted, I mean where I was able to get maybe three hours of sleep at a time if I was lucky—my body was beginning to rebel. I didn’t know how new parents did this. It was killing me. Although I didn’t have the months to prepare like new parents and they didn’t have to work eight hour day shifts while watching their baby during this stage either—thank you Canadian maternity and paternity benefits.

The bed shifted beside me, startling me.

“Go back to sleep, Katy-bear. I’ve got him.”

My body stiffened at the sound of Peter’s voice. When had he climbed into bed with me? Any other day I would have been happy that he’d been with me. Sleeping curled up against him, against Jarrod, against Jason, were the nights I had my best sleep. I always felt safe, loved, but not now. Not when there was so much unsaid between us. I really needed to talk with him, to see if Debbie had been lying in her letter to him—a very remotepossibility, but it was still there considering some of the stories mom and Dr. Bishop mentioned to each other during Liam’s check up. And if she hadn’t… I really didn’t know what to do, how it would change things. It’s why I’d been putting it off. And from the way Peter and the guys hadn’t been pushing it either, the worry that I really wouldn’t like what they had to say grew.

“Good morning, son. How about we go out into the living room and let Katy sleep? Maybe dada Jason, or daddy Jarrod would like a chance to change you and feed you before going to work. I know I wouldn’t want to miss out on cuddles from you.”

My heart clenched as I listened to Peter speak quietly tohis son.Even after thinking it for three days, I still choked up at it. I mean, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise. Not with the number of women I’d seen him with over the past few years. Really, I should have been surprised that this was his only child. But still, he was supposed to be mine. And the real problem was that I didn’t differentiate between Peter and Liam when I thought it.

I heard the door latch quietly as they exited the room, leaving me alone. My first real alone time in days since I didn’t count the rushed showers I took while listening out for Liam’s cries. Yet as I laid there, wanting to go back to sleep, I couldn’t shut my brain off.Did he really leave me alone to go sleep with some woman? Had he known her before or was just an opportunity he couldn’t pass up? Had he planned to meet up with her there? Why didn’t he use a condom?But when my thoughts started to turn towards the time at the hospital, I jumped out of bed. What happened to me at the pool and the aftermath had been bad enough that it still affected me at times, and this only made it worse. I wished for the thousandth time that I’d never read her letter. Maybe then the fact that Liam was Peter’s child wouldn’t bother me as much.

I scoffed as I shuffled to the door. Whether I’d read the letter or not, knowing Liam was his, proof that he’d been sleepingaround even though I had numerous memories to draw on for confirmation, would have still bothered me.

As I stepped into the open concept great room after a pit stop in the bathroom, Jason wrapped me up in his arms, pulling me tight to his chest. His warm spicy scent surrounded me, relaxing me. Every time I was in his arms, I felt safe, felt like I was at home. Other than when he went away for work last year and when he was away when my dad was killed, Jason had been a constant in my life. He was always there to comfort me even as he grew older and left home.

“How are you doing, Baby Girl? Did you get enough sleep?” He brushed the hair back from my face as he examined me, looking for himself in case I lied to him.

“I’m…” I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t come up with the words to express how I felt because I was feeling too many things. Things that were all jumbled together. And the lack of sleep, the heaviness of responsibility hadn’t helped. They acted like weights that held all the jumbled feelings down, not allowing them to be untangled.

“It’ll all work out.” At my raised eyebrows, he chuckled before gently brushing his lips against mine. “I promise, Katy. And I’ve never broken one of those to you yet. I don’t plan on starting now.” He pressed another swift kiss to my lips before pulling back, leaving me feeling bereft. “I’m off to work. I’d wanted to go shopping with you and Peter, but there are too many meetings with new clients scheduled for today. But I’ll see you later. I’ll bring us home some supper, so you and Peter don’t have to think about cooking. It’s the least I can do since you’ll be tired after looking after Liam and shopping.”

After Jason left, I continued into the kitchen in search of some form of caffeine to give me the needed help to get through the day. No wonder adults liked coffee so much. I don’t know how anyone survived looking after babies without it. Yet momhad told me that woman who breastfed couldn’t drink it. That really sucked. No wonder so many women formula fed instead of breast feeding. Those who breastfed must have been like me and hated coffee.

“Good morning, Kitty-Kat. Did Liam get you and Peter up a lot last night?” Jarrod sat at the table, feeding Liam a bottle. He wore his dress pants, but was bare chested, making my mouth water. It had been too long since we’d had any alone time, and I missed it.

“Hel-lo, Ka-ty.” The teasing, sing-song voice Jarrod used brought a little heat to my cheeks. Yet when I raised my gaze to look at his dark, almost black eyes, they were molten like a warm vat of dark hot chocolate.

To cover up my drooling, I bent over to smile at Liam. The bottle popped out of his mouth, and he smiled at me. His little eyes crinkled as a little dimple popped in his cheek.

“Holy shit. Did he just smile?”

I nodded, stunned. Dr. Bishop had asked if Liam had smiled yet and reassured me that it didn’t mean anything that he hadn’t. He explained that babies didn’t tend to start truly smiling until they were between six and twelve weeks old. With Liam only seven weeks and with the removal of his primary caregiver, Dr. Bishop had suggested that Liam would probably be on the later end of the time frame.

“Peter, come quick. Liam’s smiling.” At Jarrod’s shout, Liam’s little face scrunched, as he prepared to cry. Jarrod jostled him. “Don’t cry, Liam. Please don’t. Daddy Jarrod’s sorry for scaring you. I was just so excited to see you smile and wanted Daddy Peter to see.”

But when Jarrod’s pleading didn’t stop Liam, I held out my hands. “Let me take him. I’ll calm him down and then you can finish feeding him.”

Within seconds of Liam being in my arms, up near my heart, his cries quieted.

“I really need to learn that trick.” Jarrod looked at his watch before giving me a sad smile. “While I’d like to keep feeding him, I need to rush. I have a couple of meetings this morning to finalize the party were holding at the end of the week for the official opening. You’re still coming, right? Geoff didn’t back out from letting you come in late?”

With Liam no longer crying, I adjusted him in my arms so that I’d be able to feed him. “I’m still coming. Sasha said she’ll be fine by herself since Friday’s don’t tend to get busier until later in the day when it’s just me.”

“Good because I want you there.” He pressed a kiss to my lips, but unlike Jason who didn’t linger, Jarrod pressed in, parting my lips with his tongue. Before he could do much more, Liam squawked his displeasure, causing Jarrod to jump away before chuckling. “Only seven weeks old and he’s already cock blocking his daddy.” At Jarrod’s over the top wink, laughter bubbled out of my lips, making him smile as he handed me the bottle he’d been using to feed Liam.

Since he wasn’t going to be using his chair, I sat in it. The seats were comfortable when eating, but for feeding a baby, they really sucked. During our upcoming shopping trip, I was going to have to try and talk Peter into purchasing a more comfortable chair for them. The couch would do in a pinch, but it was oversized, making it harder to move around and get your body comfortable if you were holding a baby in your arms. A fact I’d found out the previous evening when I gave Liam hisbedtimefeeding.

Liam had just released a loud burp when the primary bedroom door opened and Jarrod walked out, fully dressed in a suit, followed by Peter dressed in distressed jeans and a tight t-shirt. They couldn’t have looked more different, clean cutbusinessman vs ranch hand since I knew Peter’s go to footwear would be his pair of well-worn cowboy boots, yet both were drool worthy and attracted my attention. Or maybe it was because I knew what was under their clothing—having seen them shirtless many times—the tattoos, the muscles, all their clothing did was covered up who they really were.

“That was some burp, little man.” Jarrod dropped a kiss onto Liam’s sweet-smelling head before kissing my cheek. “Have fun today. Take it easy. Make Peter do all the heavy lifting. I’ll see you tonight for supper.”

And then he was off, leaving me truly alone with Peter for the first time since they’d arrived home. I didn’t count all the times we were alone during the night because Jarrod and Jason were right down the hall, and I was able to use being tired/wanting to keep things quiet to establish that it was nighttime for Liam to keep from talking about anything deeper than Liam’s bottles or diapering.

Forestalling whatever it looked like Peter wanted to say, I jumped in, explaining to him all the things we needed to pack and get ready for our day trip to Winnipeg for supplies. And for the next forty-five minutes, we worked together under my direction to clean, diaper, and dress Liam, prepare four bottles of formula to be placed in the cooler bag, portion out three more servings of formula powder, and pack the diaper bag full of diapers, wipes, spare clothing, spare blankets, and a wet/dirty bag.

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