Page 58 of Disorderly

“But,” Peter spluttered.

“You know you love her so why wait. It’s not like anyone will know. You live with us, and you didn’t know.” Jason kissed my temple. “So long as you’re not kissing her at school, nothing will change.”

“But… I…”

“I saw the way you reacted to her in the shower. Do you really want to keep her at arm’s length, dating random women when the one you want is right here?” Jarrod pushed Jason a little to the side so that I was leaning on both of them with two sets of arms wrapped around me.

Peter stopped and stared at me. I couldn’t pull my hopeful, needy gaze away even as he flayed me open, searching for all the secrets I held. He pulled on his hair as a look of yearning, of desire, of need filled his expression.

And then he was there. In front of me. “So, help me god, but I can’t stay away anymore.”

And then he kissed me…

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Peter

After a long dayon the water, fishing, swimming, and riding the jet skis, Jarrod and Jason collapsed on the couch with beers in hand. But I couldn’t. I was too amped up with restless energy to sit for any length of time. Sitting equalled relaxing which equalled giving my brain freedom to think. And that I needed to avoid at all costs. Besides, this long weekend away was what we needed to reconnect and cement our relationship. With Jason having been away for most of the past year, we never really had the time to figure out what an official relationship between the three of us looked like.

That and we all needed a break away from the pressures of home. Jarrod’s official opening of Sutherland’s Accounting was scheduled for next week, but everything was ready to go. He needed this weekend away as much as the rest of us. A time to relax, regroup, and reconnect since he’d been on the go with business meetings for the past month.

Jason managed to finish his giant construction job with two weeks to spare and under the proposed budget, earning them a large bonus. But to do that, they’d run themselves ragged. Although, to him and all his new employees, it was worth it. The fact that his name and his company were being spoken of in larger circles also helped. Instead of looking at having to layoff a large portion of his workers during the winter when construction slowed, he could possibly have enough jobs to keep them all employed which had always been his goal. So, for him, this trip was sorely needed. In fact, he needed a couple of weeks where he did nothing but relax, sleep, and recover.

As for me, with exams and marking done for the summer, I could finally breathe a sigh of relief before I started making small changes to the AP English Lit class and began to prepare for the upcoming year where I was now the department head. It had been sad to see Dr. Strong retire. She’d been such a fixture at the high school and in my life that I didn’t know how I’d survive next year without her.

But that was all that I could leave behind me. The rest of the shit in my life followed me like a bad smell.

“Okay, we’ve kept quiet long enough. What’s going on with you, Peter?”

I shrugged. I knew I needed to tell them, but I couldn’t. It would ruin everything just when life was finally going well.

We were all together, in an official relationship. Something I’d dreamed about but always pushed away because it seemed so far-fetched and not what the others wanted. So, to have it felt like a dream. And then to add Katy to it… heaven.

Not that things really changed since that night I kissed her. Between studying for exams, writing her exams, and then working at her new part-time job that she’d finally managed to get her mother to agree to, we didn’t get to spend a lot of time together. And when we did, there were often others at our house. While we hadn’t hosted any of the large parties we used to, we still had small groups of our friends over on the occasional evening and with them there, we all treated Katy the way we always did. The most we were able to do besides talk was the occasional quick good night kiss. And while I wished for more, it also reassured me that we could pull this off. Even after she turned eighteen, if anyone found out about us, not only could I face jail time, but I would also lose my license to teach. Neither one of those things appealed to me.

Jason stood and wondered over to where we’d placed a couple of bottles of the hard stuff. He poured generous double shots of tequila into three glasses and then handed them out. “Drink up and then start talking. Jarrod and I have been. I know that you haven’t been yourself in months. And that night at the bar, you hadn’t left your phones on the table while you went to get drinks. That was Jarrod lying to cover your ass. You were out trying to pick up women, something you said you’d stopped doing because you wanted to change after what happened to Katy.”

I gulped the drink, letting it burn all the way down. In fact, I welcomed the burn. It was the least I deserved once the guys found out. And the fact that Jason brought up the inciting incident had to be a sign. I just didn’t know if it was a good one or a bad one.

Taking my empty glass, I went back to the bottle and poured myself another, this time nearly filling it. Two giant mouthfuls later, and I figured it was now or never. “Guys, I think I really fucked things up this time. I…”

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