Page 35 of Disorderly

“It sounded like one of the girl’s who’s upset that Josh and Jake are off the market, somehow managed to video them together with the girl that Josh kept saying was his girlfriend. And they played it on the big screen.”

Something must have transmitted through my voice because Jason asked, “And how did it make you feel, seeing them all together?”

“J-jealous.” The word barely sounded in the air. In fact, I wasn’t even sure if I said it or thought it. Until he asked, I hadn’t even labeled my feelings around it. But once that one popped into my mind, I knew it was true. I was jealous of Samantha. Not because she was with Jake and Josh—for as much as girls around the school wanted them, they’d never done anything for me in that way—but because she was with two guys whom she clearly loved. And they loved her.

I wanted that.

Wanted to have the hands, of the guys I loved, on my body. Wanted to feel them touch me that way at the same time.

When Jason didn’t answer, I rushed to tell him about my thoughts behind the emotion. I didn’t want him to think that I wanted them.

“Would you be okay with it? I know you’ve mentioned how you like the others, and you know that I think that they’re in love with you. Is that what you want? To have more than one guy touching you at once? Are you ready for that?”

I bit my lip and leaned against the glass wall of the large shower. I already knew I wanted that. From the moment the two guys in the pool touched me that way, I knew it was something I wanted to explore. But Jason had a valid point. Wanting it and being able to handle it were two separate things. Would it bother me? Would it be too much?

When he first pushed me up against a wall, caging me in as he kissed me, there had been a brief moment of hesitation. A brief moment of fear. They had been so quick that I never registered them until later when I went over the kiss in my mind. But then again, he never asked before kissing me like that. Didn’t give me time to think about it. So I just went with what my body wanted, pushing the rest away. Beside, when Jason kissed me—just like Jarrod—the world disappeared. They were my sole focus. They didn’t allow for anything else to enter the equation.

But that wasn’t the case now. Now I had time to think about it. Thinking of the two guys at the waterpark, how they touched me… nope. Wasn’t going to do that. Not when I was alone. It made me feel sick and my skin crawl. Suddenly sitting in the shower while it rained down hot water on me seemed like a great idea. I replaced the two guys with Jarrod and Jason. Their mouths on mine, on my skin while their large hands roamed over my body. Heat flooded me. And again, the shower looked great to me. This time, instead of hot water, I needed it to be cold.

“I-I think so. I want it. But I guess I won’t know how I’ll handle it until I try.”

“That’s valid. Maybe someday we’ll be able to try it.” I could hear the teasing tone in his voice, and it wiped away all the tension from our conversation.

We talked for a little longer about his work and the other fundraisers I had planned before I worked up the courage to tell him the real reason for my phone call. “Um, Jason, I have something to tell you.”

“That sounds ominous.” He chuckled. And when I didn’t speak right away, he tried to comfort me. “It’s okay Baby Girl. Whatever you need to tell me, it will be okay. I promise you.”

“I-I kissed Jarrod, tonight. Or rather he kissed me. I’m not sure which. But I’m sorry. I know you said that it was okay for me to do it, but I feel horrible. I don’t want to cheat on you.”

“Take a breath, Baby Girl. It’s all fine. I told you to experiment, to have fun, and I meant it. But to know that you and Jarrod kissed… that makes me happy. Now tell me, did you like it?” I could hear the smile in his voice. In my mind, I could imagine him sprawled across his bed, back resting against his wall. His eyes would sparkle as he teased me.

As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t deny him his answer. “Y-yes. I did. But I didn’t tell him about you.”

“Breathe, Sweetie. Just take a deep breath.” I hadn’t even realized that I started to panic. Thoughts of how Jarrod would feel swamped me. I’d been so focused on the possibility of cheating on Jason or making Jarrod cheat on Peter that I never even thought of how Jarrod would view me when he found out that I was with Jason. “It will be fine. Do you want me to talk to him about it? Tell him about you and me?”

My breath rushed out in relief. “Please. I know it’s the coward’s way, but…”

“It’s not the coward’s way. Besides, there’s stuff that Jarrod and I need to talk about anyway so put those thoughts out of your mind. And the next time he kisses you, just enjoy it.”

I couldn’t stop the smile from surfacing over his idea that it would happen again. “Thanks Jason. I don’t know what I would have done without you for the past couple of months.”

“It’s what I’m here for because I love you, Baby Girl. Now go get some sleep. And maybe dream of a future where Jarrod and I are kissing you together.”

After saying goodbye to him, I slid out of my clothes, slipping Peter’s t-shirt over my head. I went braless because sleeping in a bra gave me a backache, but I kept my panties on. Thankfully his t-shirt was made of a thicker material so that my pointed nipples didn’t show. And it was long enough not to reveal my panties.

And as I opened the door to go back into the room, I wondered how I’d keep my hands to myself, sleeping between them after Jason painted such a picture in my mind. Tonight would be torture, but a torture I’d gladly accept.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Jason

A smilenever left my face after talking with Katy. To think that Jarrod finally manned up and kissed her. I almost couldn’t believe it. Or maybe, like she said, she might have been the one to make the move, but for that to happen, the planets would have had to align backwards. She might know what she wants, but she still didn’t have the confidence to reach for it. Although her confidence had grown leaps and bounds since she told me about her concern with her changing body. I’d worried about how the assault would set her back, but it appeared to not have affected that part of her. Or at least not after her initial freak out the first day she was home alone.

I wanted to call Jarrod the moment she hung up, but I knew she was spending the night there. While she’d been talking to me, Peter had texted, telling me all about the incident at the school and how he’d talked her into spending the night with them. He’d been worried that she might have a panic attack or flashback from seeing another girl get attacked. Not that the attacks were the same, but I guess some of the students were calling the girl, Samantha, a slut and other not so nice terms. They were ones that Katy had worried she’d be called if anyone had seen her with the two guys.

So the talk was out. For tonight. Although maybe that was for the best. It would give me time to think about what I wanted to say. Besides, this talk might be better to do face-to-face which meant the earliest I could do it was Friday, almost a week away. I had to pray that nothing would happen in the meantime to fuck everything up.

I spoke to Katy every night, reassuring her that I didn’t mind her kissing Jarrod. Not that anymore kisses occurred since her schedule was a little crazy as she studied for midterm exams in her courses along with preparing all the things needed for the Christmas hampers they helped to give out to those in need. I also spoke with Jarrod and Peter. It was hard to keep my mouth shut about the kissing, but I knew I needed to. I didn’t want Jarrod to back off from Katie or to tell Peter in some misguided sense of honesty. Not that honesty wasn’t the best, but this situation called for some delicacy. It was why I hadn’t told them about what I’d done. If Peter found out before he was ready, he’d bolt. And right now, he was working so hard on doing better, on cleaning up his act that I didn’t want anything to ruin it.

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