Page 3 of Disorderly

“Sure. Does she know you told me what happened?” Sweat gathered on my palms. The urge to track down the fuckers who thought they could touch a woman because they wanted to get their rocks off, not caring if she wanted it or not, had my hands fisting. How could a man do that? There were enough women out there who would freely jump in the sack with someone, no strings attached—I should know, I slept with enough of them—that they didn’t need to force an unwilling woman.

“She does. I didn’t want her to worry about having to tell you or to let her mind make up stories about interactions between you.”

“Thanks, man. And don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her.”

Without saying another word, Jason hung up. I stared at the phone lost in thought. What Katy went through… my heart ached for her. No one should have to endure that. I could only imagine how out of control her life felt and if there was anything I was good at besides my job, it was getting control back. And that’s what I’d help her with.

Knock. Knock.The door clicked as it opened, bringing a smile to my lips despite the circumstances. Other than having her wave at me from her porch as I’d carried in a couple of the boxes I’d transported from the city; I hadn’t seen her since I’d taken her for lunch back at the beginning of summer. Unlike most summers where I came out here nearly every weekend to take advantage of the lake and the female tourists, I spent my weekends preparing for the move, learning all about the clients in the area, and learning all I needed to know about running the office.

I jumped off the bed as Katy called out, “Jarrod, are you here?”

I chuckled. Her question, in any other context, would have sounded weird. Of course I was here, the door was unlocked after all. But that was big city me talking. Here in Voyageur Bay, even though the town was growing—from my environmental scan in preparation for the opening of this office, the population neared 9,000—the townspeople continued to act as if it was still the tiny town of only a couple thousand and kept their doors unlocked even when they weren’t home.

“I’m here.” I shoved my hands in the front pockets of my khaki shorts as I exited the main bedroom. The smile on my face grew as I stared at her. Gone were the oversized, baggy clothes. Instead, a young woman stood in front of me.Ho-ly fuck!She’d always been pretty between her dark, chestnut hair and her large, brown eyes, ones that sucked you right in, making you want to protect her, but now, now she was everything I dreamed of.

If I was truly honest, one of the reasons I opted to stay in Winnipeg over the summer was the fact that I’d started picking up women who looked like her from the back. And when I came, it was her name that was on the tip of my lips. All things that freaked me out. Yes, she was sixteen and perfectly legal, but still, I’d known her while she was a little girl. It was why hands were in my pocket. It kept me from pulling her to me; something I would have done without hesitation before my revelation.

But when her smile wobbled and her eyes shone with tears, all that went out the window. I ripped my hands out of my pockets and held my arms open, giving her the option of a hug. I didn’t want to force my touch on her. Not when she’d already been forced by my gender before.

Without a word, she ran into my chest, wrapping her arms around my waist. Her body shook. “Oh, Kitty-Kat. Let it all out.” I ran my hands up and down over her back, hopefully soothing her. “I’m here for you. I’m not going anywhere.”

It took her close to ten minutes before her sobs subsided and she no longer trembled in my arms. And pervert that I was, I couldn’t find myself happy or relievedwhen she pulled back. I wanted to keep her here in my arms for longer. Forever would be my wish, but neither were appropriate. She was my neighbour. A child. It didn’t matter if she was legal. I was too old, too experienced for her. She had her whole life before her.

I should have done the honourable thing and backed away at the beginning, giving her a quick hug and then removing myself from her touch. But I wasn’t honourable. I wouldn’t outright pursue her, but I couldn’t resist when the situation put her in my arms. Nor would I resist touching her when the situation called for it.

And that’s why my hands cradled her face. It’s why my thumbs brushed over her cheeks, wiping her tears away as I stared at her lush lips. Fuck. I was an asshole. A predator. How could I take advantage of her like this? She’d already been used and abused by the male species. I didn’t need to add to it. Besides, being with her wasn’t logical. It wasn’t orderly. Everything about having these feelings, let alone acting on them, screamed chaos… yet I couldn’t stop.

“I’m sorry for crying. It seems like it’s all I do.”

“Hey, there’s nothing to be sorry for. Anyone who went through what you do is allowed to cry all they want. Besides, I have the chest and arms to hold crying damsels. And I even know how to do my own laundry.” I winked relieved when she rewarded me with a shaky smile. “That’s what I wanted to see, your beautiful smile.”

Under my gaze her cheeks flushed, bringing my dick into play. Fuck. I needed to get control.Keep it cool. She’s hurting. Not someone for you to pawn,I chided myself.When my self-talk didn’t work, I resorted to thinking about the disgusting slime that I saw in the bottom of the bucket under Kyle’s fish table. All the guts and scraps from after he filleted our catch back in June. Yuck. I almost couldn’t stop the shiver of revulsion that went through me.Crap. That would have been hard to explain to Kitty-Kat.

Needing to change the subject, I pulled away, leading her to the kitchen for a cool drink. “I hear that you’re willing to be my assistant today at the fair.” When she nodded, I continued, “Thank you, thank you, thank you. I really didn’t know how I was going to get it all set up. Angela, the other accountant moving here from the Winnipeg office couldn’t make it today and our new admin assistant doesn’t start work for another week when we officially open.”

She chewed on her lip as she nodded to the pitcher of strawberry lemonade I held in my hands. When I placed the glass before her, she lifted it to her lips with shaky hands, and gulped it down. Jason hadn’t been joking. She was right on the edge of a good panic attack. Symptoms I knew only too well and one of the reasons why I kept everything neat and orderly in all aspects of my life. It gave me control. Something she lacked at the moment.

I wrapped my hand around hers holding the glass. “Take a deep breath with me and hold it. You’re in control. I won’t let anything hurt you again.” She followed my command, taking in a rattly breath before holding it. “Now breathe out… slowly,” I cautioned when she started to release it all at once. “Remember those blow fish belly breaths you used do when you were doing that children’s yoga video?” She gasped and chuckled at the same time, nearly choking, at the memory, bringing another grin to my face. It had been a silly childish video with animals in costumes modelling different yoga poses, but she’d loved it, watching it daily for almost a year. “That’s what we’re doing.”

As she nodded and focused on blowing out slowly, her lips lifted. It was a small movement towards a smile, but it meant more than a million dollars to me. Me. I’d been the one to pull her back from the edge. Not Jason. Not Peter. But me, Jarrod who she didn’t know nearly as well. Before the incident, when I’d last been here, she’d trusted me enough to go out for lunch with me, but I’d thought that that level of trust would have been destroyed by what happened to her. I mean, even though she was right next door and knew that I was here, she’d chosen to call Jason, who was hours away and at work, when she needed help instead of walking the few feet to seek help from me. Yet when push came to shove, she trusted me, following my directions until she breathed normally and no longer shook like the tall grasses in the prairie wind.

After taking another steadying breath, I watched as she squared her shoulders, finding her inner steel-like strength. The same courage she displayed after Peter’s mother passed away and again when his dad died. She’d been barely into her teens both incidents happened, yet she stepped up, taking care of all of us, ensuring we ate, wore clean clothes, and even showered. And when we needed it, she made us drinks to drown our sorrow in. I barely restrained the chuckle that wanted to burst free when I thought about Jason’s description of the hot toddy she made for Peter’s dad after Mom-Evans passed away. The fumes from the alcohol in the drink nearly gave him a contact drunk.

She’d experienced so much hardship in her life already and came out the other side so I had no fear that this wouldn’t be the same. And like she’d been there for us with our hardships, I’d—we’d—be there for her.

Even if I had to keep thinking disgusting thoughts to keep my cock from showing hiswantto help as well.

Chapter Three

Katy

When my heartstopped trying to break out of its cage made by my ribs and I could take a deep, steady breath, I took a leap and finally answered his question. “Yes, I’ll be your assistant today. It will keep me busy and help with...”

Despite meaning every word of that statement, a little voice spoke in the back of mind, making me hesitate.But can you trust him to stay with you? Remember the party? He left you to screw those girls in the pool house. And Peter left you alone at the party and at the waterpark. Look how that turned out.I knew these were thoughts that Shelly wanted me to refute, to shut down by speaking the full truth. Jarrod never left me alone at the party because he never told me he’d be by my side all night. The same with Peter. And at the waterpark, he’d told me when he left. He didn’t just disappear. Nor did he know what would happen. He left me with my friends. Not alone.

Yet even though I knew these truths, having repeated them over and over again, I couldn’t shake the fear. It clawed at my insides, wanting to break free like it almost did earlier. But I wouldn’t let it. Even as it rattled the bars on its cage, I wouldn’t give in. So I did what I’d been doing to keep the monster at bay… I gave it a little controlled freedom as I peered up at him through my eyelashes. “But please don’t leave me alone.”

I tried to keep my voice from revealing my emotions, but I didn’t think I succeeded. Tears glistened in his eyes and his shoulders slumped. A wounded look flashed over his face before it turned into one of concern. Why would my question have hurt him, I wondered. It’s not like he was the one who harmed me.

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