Page 23 of Disorderly

“Katy.” Christopher tugged on the leg of my jeans, pushing all my thoughts to the back of my mind. “Read bedtime story?”

“Sure. Why don’t you go pick out the story you want me to read to you and Lizzi?”

“Thank you, Katy. You’re a godsend. I don’t know what I would have done tonight without you.” Mrs. Stittson hobbled down the hall towards me, holding her arm and small pillow across her lower belly.

“What are you doing up, Mrs. Stittson? You’re supposed to be resting in bed.” I rushed to her side, wrapping my arm around her back, giving her something to lean against.

“Bedrest is overrated. Besides, I was hoping to sneak a bit more of that delicious cream of zucchini soup that you made along with another biscuit.”

“And what would you tell your patients when they disobeyed a doctor’s order?” I raised an eyebrow as I mock glared at her.

She chuckled, but then moaned as she clutched the pillow tighter. “I’d tell them that walking was good for them. Gets the blood moving.” She turned a pretty shade of pink as she farted. “And the gas.”

We both laughed even though the action pained her.

“That’s what mom says too. She almost never lets me wallow in bed unless I have the flu.” When we got to the end of the hall, I carefully turned her around. “But I think that’s enough walking for you. We’ll get you settled back into bed and then I’ll bring you some more soup. I made a double batch so once it cools overnight in the fridge, your sister can put it in freezer bags and into the freezer. I’ll leave the reheating instructions for you.”

She kissed my cheek. “I meant it. You really are a Godsend.”

After I got her settled back into bed, I quickly placed more soup into a bowl, and grabbed anther biscuit and some butter. On my way back to her room, I told Christopher and Lizzi that I’d be right in to read to them after getting Bella. Bella might be considered too young for a true bedtime story by some, but I believed it was never too early to read to a baby.

With Bella in one arm, I sat on the side of the bed. Christopher handed me a stack Isla Wynter’s books. All three were about a llama. I may have told Christopher only one book, but I couldn’t resist the sweet “pretty pleases” that came from their mouths. Besides, Isla Wynter’s books were adorable. And the pretty pictures kept Bella entertained. We read about how Lila the llama wanted to meet a unicorn inThe Little Llama Meets A Unicorn, then we read about how Lila got a cat inThe Little Llama Gets A Cat, and then we finished of with Lila learning about Christmas inThe Little Llama Learns About Christmas.By the time I finished, Christopher and Lizzi were both asleep in her bed, and Bella was starting to fuss, wanting to be bathed and fed before bed.

“Thank you for watching them tonight.” I jumped, startled at hearing Crissy, Mrs. Stittson’s sister’s voice. I’d been so engrossed in the stories that I hadn’t even heard her come home. “And don’t worry about moving Christopher, I’ll put him in his bed after I give this little one a bath and her bottle.”

I stood, handing Bella over to her aunt. “Did you have fun?”

“I did. And my bosses were happy that I attended because some of our biggest clients came.”

“That’s great. I’m glad I was able to help out.” I headed to the front door; thankful the Stittson’s lived a ten-minute walk from my house. It meant that I didn’t need to call someone for a ride since mom had called, saying that she needed to work a few extra hours due to a shortage of nurses. And the last thing I wanted to do was to call Peter or Jarrod.

Once the door closed behind me, my shoulders slumped in defeat. I knew that without the children serving as distractions, nothing would keep my thoughts from what happened.

The biggest question that played on repeat was why they didn’t tell me. I’d watched them together for ten years. I’d spent lots of time with them and I never saw a thing. Or had I? Had I been so selfish, so caught up in my own life, my own feelings that I ignored them? Did that mean that I truly didn’t love them? I mean, how could I say I did if I didn’t even know something so fundament about them? I’d seen them with so many women, more than I wanted to count or remember. And I’d seen them in some compromising positions, ones they never knew about. Yet never had I seen them together.

By the time I reached the front door of my empty house, I was wrung out. Too many thoughts, too many emotions, it all wreaked havoc, sapping what energy I had left after a week of school. A week where Krissy and others wouldn’t leave me alone, always wanting me to invite them over. As if I was that stupid. I knew exactly what they wanted, and it wasn’t me. They wanted to use me to get closer to Peter. Well, that wouldn’t be a problem anymore. Not when everyone knew Peter was in a relationship with Jarrod. And for the first time since I found out about it, I smiled a true smile for what seemed like days despite the hurt I continued to feel.

But it wasn’t just my feelings that hurt; my brain pained me, like a hot poker was being pressed into it. I kept all the lights off as I stumbled through the house and up into my bedroom. It wasn’t even nine and yet I could barely move. Every muscle felt like it had been made from lead. My clothes laid on the floor where I dropped them on my way to the bathroom where I brushed my teeth and washed my face. Sleep called to my body, but my brain wouldn’t stop spinning.

There was only one thing I could do. One person I could trust to be my safe harbour since the other two were the issue. Without stopping to question my actions, I pulled out my phone, hitting the button for Jason. It wasn’t too late under normal circumstances, but his new job wasn’t normal. They worked long hours, trying to beat the upcoming winter weather. And if he wasn’t already in bed, it was Friday. That meant he would probably be out at some bar with the guys. So even though I hoped he’d answer, I wouldn’t have been surprised if I got his answering message.

So when his voice came through the speaker, my chest shuddered, overcome with the collapse of my mental walls which I’d constructed to keep my feelings from overwhelming me.

“Baby Girl, I didn’t think I’d hear from you tonight, but I’m glad you called. No big plans?”

“N-no. I volunteered to help Mrs. Stittson and her sister out,” I managed to say somewhat clearly.

“That was sweet of it. I’m sure they really appreciated. And I’m sure the kids loved you.” The smooth cadence of his voice calmed my mind, loosening up my chest, and allowing me to breathe easily for the first time in hours. And the longer he talked, the more he told me about his day and plans for the weekend, the more my mind began to think clearly without the attached emotion.

Peter and Jarrod, a couple. I could see that. They had always been close even if there were always women around. And while Jarrod always had his own room in the house, whenever I spent the night, he usually slept in Peter’s room. It had been the same with Jason. When I was young and spent the night at the Evans’ house while mom was working, there were many nights that I woke up and snuck into Peter’s large bed. Many nights, I’d also find Jason, or later Jarrod, and sometimes both in the bed. But they always made room for me. It was why I thought nothing of it. They were always dressed, and it seemed normal to me.

Jason.

Jason.

His name reverberated in my head as my thoughts spun again. Although this time, it was with clarity, following a logical path, instead of the scattered approach from before.

Jason was their friend. Their best friend. Wouldn’t that mean he knew about them? About their relationship? And if so, why didn’t he tell me? Did he feel I couldn’t be trusted either? As that question hit, my stomach dropped. All my feelings of safety and comfort fled.Stop! Talk to Jason before jumping to conclusions. This might be a surprise to him, too.

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