Page 30 of Hope & Harmony

I expected Emmit or one of the boys. Not him.

“I’m not here to take his place.” Drix signed, nodding at the wall to Ziggy.

“Good, because no oneeverwill. Especially you.” I spat back with my hands.

“I don’t know what the fuck I’ve done to you.” Drix’s mouth moved with his fingers, fury stepping him closer, looming over me. “But I’m not here to play games.”

The fucking audacity.

“Are you kidding me?” My hands fired back. I also verbalized, but my emotions were bubbling over too much to care if I was enunciating clearly. “You don’t know what you did? Oh, right, you probably don’t remember. Just another pathetic girl you messed around with.”

He sucked harshly through his nose.

“Are you seriously talking about our little hook-upsevenyears ago? We made out. That was it.” His mouth moved faster than his hands, dropping some of the sentence. “We were kids. Plus, you were the one who walked away from me.”

“Did you think I would stay? Waiting for you on your bed like a groupie?” I fired back. “After what you said about me?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I was there!” My arms expressed my fury. “I ‘overheard’ what you and Corey said about me.” Corey was the lead singer of Velvet Kings and probably one of the most arrogant assholes I’d ever met, besides Drix. Maybe it was why he left; their egoscouldn’t fit in one band. “What was it you said? Having not only agirldrummer in your band would weaken any chances of making it, but she was also a deaf bitch on top of that!”

Drix stepped back like I slapped him, which I really should have. I should have hit him back then. But I was seventeen, so young and insecure, I ran instead of fighting back. It took me a long time not to believe what they said. That Iwasgood enough. Back then, when we were all just starting out, I had this major crush on Drix. I thought we had this deep, magical connection when we played together. I wanted to be part of their band, played my ass off when we all got together, drinking and hanging out.

Drix finally took notice of me one night after we played together. He told me how amazing I was. Our kissing quickly heated up, and he left me on his bed to get condoms.

Fifteen minutes I waited until I snuck out looking for him. I found him with Corey and the rest of the band, still just in his boxers, a condom package in his hand.

“Dude, you’re seriously gonna fuck that deaf bitch?” Corey laughed. He was facing in the direction where I hid behind a wall. “It’s obvious she has such a crush on you, but how hard up are you?”

“Shut the fuck up.” Drix’s eyebrows furrowed, his profile harder to read.

“I mean, she’s smokin’ hot, but still. Won’t it be weird? I guess she’ll sign when she calls out your name.” The rest of the band laughed at his hurtful joke. “Well, go ahead and bang her, get something useful from her. She’s not joining this band.” Corey peered over at the other members, their heads bobbingin unison. “I mean, a girl drummer in a rock band? No fucking way we want some deaf bitch part of us. A cockblocker when we’re gonna have swarms of women on us.” He stalked over to Drix, slapping him on the shoulder. “Models and celebrities will be begging to suck our cocks. We don’t want some girl with us. Especially a deaf one.”

“You can’t deny she’s pretty good.” Drix shrugged one shoulder like it was an afterthought.

“You want pretty good, or you want amazing?” Corey asked. “I want this band to make it big. Do you really trust a girl drummer to play with us? Seriously?”

I could feel the air holding in my lungs, my hope pinned on him. The guy had me so smitten it was like I was one big fluttering drunk butterfly, and I wasn’t known to be girly or swoony over any guy.

“Drix?” Corey said his name, an eyebrow curving. “You getting a crush on the deaf girl?”

“Fuck, no.” Drix shook his head. “She’s just an easy fuck. Nothing else.”

In one sentence, my heart and confidence splintered into pieces.

I took off and never went back. At that moment, my hatred for The Velvet Kings began, along with my drive to be the best.

They splintered me, but I didn’t break. And I can’t deny they pushed me to work harder. I practiced relentlessly, never leaving the studio until I had it perfect. And perfection wasn’t something an artist ever found. Ziggy helped me develop a system where I was so in tune with everything that no one could say I was good for a “girl” or a “deaf drummer.”

No, I was just fucking brilliant, period.

“You don’t remember telling him I was just aneasy fuckand nothing else?” My hands moved so fast and violently, his forehead creased, trying to keep up. When my statement registered, I watched his frame stiffen, his expression walling up.

“You were there?” He stopped signing, his voice vibrating against my skin.

“Yes. I was there to learn that behind my back, you all thought I was just a pathetic deaf girl who had no business being a drummer.”

“That’s not?—”

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