Page 18 of Hope & Harmony

“Someone wanted me to give up music a long time ago, and I decided to end the relationship instead. She said I’d regret that decision, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about how ridiculous her statement was, especially with all the success I’ve had. I can’t imagine what I’d be doing if I had stayed with her. I know I’d be unhappy and probably working a desk job somewhere.”

“That sounds awful.”

“Right?” I shake my head. “I love the freedom this work allows me. Heck, I wouldn’t even call this work. When you get to do something you love, there’s no work involved.”

“Well, I love music, but it’s still work for me. I think success and money allow you to feel more like it’s a hobby in a way. I still grind every single day to try to pay the bills.”

The thought of her struggling makes my heart hurt. I have more money than I know what to do with anymore. I never thought I’d be this lucky, but people throw money at me to try to get their song written sooner than others.

“Things will change for you soon.”

She pats my arm softly. “That’s sweet of you to say, but we both know that isn’t true.”

“I meant what I said before…”

“No,” she interrupts me. “I want to do this myself. It’s how I’m built, Lucca. If I’m not good enough to make it big on my own, I don’t want it to happen.”

“I didn’t get where I am by myself, Maddy. It’s rare and doesn’t mean anything if someone makes a few calls to their friends. We all need help sometimes.”

“I don’t know… For now, I need to do it this way.”

“Okay.”

“I didn’t mean anything negative. No matter how you got your big break, you’re successful.”

“I know.”

“Can I ask you something?” she says, her hand not moving from my arm.

“Anything.”

“Why don’t you sing your songs yourself?”

I stare at her green eyes, hating that I must tell her what a scaredy-cat I am. “I get stage fright.”

Her mouth drops open. “Really?”

I nod again. “I tried everything, but I couldn’t get over it. It’s why I focused on songwriting. I love music and creating lyrics, but I’ve never been able to make it all the way through a song onstage in front of even a single person.”

“Wow. I wouldn’t have guessed that. It’s such a rush, though. There’s nothing like singing in front of a crowd that’s swaying to your music, and when they cheer and clap at the end…it’s so exhilarating.”

“I feel that way when I hear one of my songs recorded. When someone brings it to life in the perfect way, exactly how I heard it in my head… It’s the greatest.”

“Do you sing when you’re alone?”

“Sometimes,” I admit, never having told anyone that. But then again, no one’s ever asked me that question before.

“Interesting…”

“Why is it interesting?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. It just is.”

“My voice is similar to fingernails on a chalkboard.”

She stares at me without saying anything for a solid minute. “If you help me with my lyrics, I’ll teach you how to sing. Everyone has a beautiful voice buried deep inside themselves. It just takes more to dig it out of some people than others.”

“I’m fine with mine buried down deep, Maddy. It’s where it should stay, too.”

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