Page 33 of Hope & Harmony

Drix was just a bandmate. Nothing more. A knot braided up from my gut, pumping more adrenaline into my body.

Right?

Slamming out of the room and stomping down the hall, I felt him behind me, his boots thumping the floor. I was so hyperaware of him that I even recognized his weight behind me.

My legs started to run. Anxiety pushed me through doors, zigzagging down corridors and through rooms, trying to get away from him.

Trying to outrun what I knew deep down.

A hand wrapped around my arm, whirling me around.

“Let me go.” The protest hummed in my vocal chords.

“Goddamit, stop.” Anger and frustration hardened his features, his nose flaring. His frame leaned over me.

“I don’t want to talk to you.” I signed furiously.

“Tough shit.“ His lips curled. “I’m tired of doing this your way.”

“My way?”

“Yes, this whole avoidance thing.”

“What are you talking about?”

His head slanted, giving me a look. “Like it’s not obvious that you get the farthest you can from me the moment we are off stage. What are you running from, Echo?”

“I’m not running from anything!”

“That’s all you do!” He let go, exclaiming with his hands too.

“Excuse me?”

“You run from dealing with what happened to Ziggy. You run from me.”

“From Ziggy?” I sputtered, feeling my face flaming in ire.

“You still haven’t dealt with his death. You blame me for being in his spot, but he’s the one you are mad at. Because he left you. It’s okay to be mad at him.”

“I’m not mad at him! I can’t be because he’s dead, and I don’t blame you for being in his spot. I blame you for being an asshole!”

“Why? Because I fucked up seven years ago?” His fingers shouted back. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I fucked up.”

“Fucked up?” I shoved at him. “It’s because youhurtme! I thought of all people you would have my back. That you didn’t think the worst things about me, too. Just a laughable deaf girl who thought she could play drums with the likes of the great Hendrix Decker.”

“Ineversaid that!” He shot back. “Corey did.”

“You didn’t deny it!” My hands could barely keep up with my emotions; the box I kept tucked away with all my pain popped open, spilling out. “I thought you were different. That there was something there. When we played together, it was special. But I was the fool, thinking so highly of you. You are no different from any other ignorant, insensitive person out there.” I motioned in the direction of the reporter. “Actually, you’re worse because you couldn’t even say it to my face.” I began to turn around, needing to get as far from him as possible.

Hands clutched my arms, his body shoving me back into the door. And then his mouth crashed down on mine. Every thought blanked from my mind, every reason I had to keep us at arm’s length disappearing. All the justifications I had for hating him vanished as his lips met mine. Hunger claimed me, desire pumped through my veins, and I swallowed back a moan. Hunger exploded between us, a line between rage and desire licking through me, making the fire between us explode like a storm.

He pulled back just as fast as it began, his hands gripping my face, leaving me breathless and dizzy.

“Was I a young, stupid eighteen-year-old who was too afraid to admit how he felt?” He trapped me against the frame of the door. “Yes. I will own that. You scared the hell out of me. And I wasn’t man enough to defend you, to speak up and say I really fucking liked you.” A gasp hiccuped in my throat at his claim. “I will fully admit I was too young to know how to handle you being different. But there hasn’t been a day I haven’t regretted it. Fuck, I even learned ASL because of you!”

“You what?” I gaped.

“But I never thought you were a pathetic deaf girl.” His hands clasped the sides of my face. “You blew me away then and even more now. Your talent, the music you write, how hard you work. I am in awe of you. And yes, when we played together back then, it was fire…” His grip tightened. “And even more now. Everything people see on the stage between us is true. And I can’t keep my fucking eyes off you.”

“What?” I don’t know if any noise actually came out of my throat, my heart thumping in my head like a drumbeat.

“And I was jealous.”

“Jealous?”

“Yes. You guys are like family. You make music from your soul. I wanted that. It’s part of why I came here. But in all honesty, the main reason is I came for you.” His mouth brushed mine, his eyes locking on mine.

“You are my song in silence.”

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