Page 24 of Hope & Harmony

Song in Silence

CHAPTER 1

Vibrations thrummed through my bare feet, traveling up into my bones. Every note, every pulsation sang in my body, written out in my head. The beat of the drums crashed and resonated in my chest, my arms whirling two hickory drumsticks. Music wasn’t just a love of mine; it was my blood, my air, my connection to this world.

My eyes closed, strands of my long purple and black hair falling onto my face as I pounded out my last solo, the song coming to a crescendo. Perspiration dampened my pierced brow, my frame swaying, feeling with my entire body.

The final beat pulsated up my arm, and I sucked in a gulp of air. Twirling the drumsticks, my breath heavy, I pried my eyes open, a smile of pure joy tugging at my lips. This was the only place I felt part of the world, not having to fight for everything. This was where I was supposed to be: my happy bubble.

Then the bubble popped.

Four heads were turned at me; it was obvious they had cut out earlier in the song. The lead singer, Ames Isley, had his normal frown of impatience on his face, while the lead guitarist, Tobias, the keyboarder, Geo, and our manager, Emmit, all stared, waiting for me to realize no one was playing anymore.

Chagrin bloomed in my cheeks at their gazes, my eyes automatically peering at the spot where our bass guitarist, Ziggy, always stood. The position to my right was now empty, reminding me he was gone and filling me with grief. My link to my cues, the one who kept me in the loop of changes, was no longer here.

“Sorry,” I muttered, but I wasn’t sure if anyone heard me, their attention already snapping back to Emmit. Ames’s head wagged, his arms flying dramatically, twisting the nerves in my stomach.

“Now, hear me out.” Emmit’s hands went up, his mouth moving quickly, telling me he was trying to get out whatever he needed to say before Ames stomped out. Whoever said women were the emotional, dramatic ones had never met Ames. He owned the cliché of temperamental rocker as a badge of honor. While moody, sensitive, and ego-driven, he was incredibly talented and hardworking. I had known Ames since my late teens, and he had always been this way, though the more our star rose, the more those diva qualities came out in him.

Ziggy had been the only sane one. The one who kept us grounded, especially Ames. In his absence, we were off-kilter and not clicking as well. His death was an abyss in our group. One we couldn’t seem to fill.

Ames’s back was to me, his head shaking. I could feel his agitation growing and sense it in the body language of the others. I glanced over at Tobias and Geo, trying to see what I missed, feeling even more isolated without Ziggy next to me. Over time, he and I had developed a great connection. He was a true legend and my touchstone in every way.

So many in this business were incredibly talented and loved music, but if you didn’t have it in your bones, written into your DNA, this lifestyle could break you. It could destroy those who breathed music even more. Too many legends were deadbecause the music industry was a demon who consumed you, and if you didn’t find a way to survive the drugs, alcohol, imposter syndrome, and burnout would swallow you whole.

Ziggy was swallowed whole.

“No! Absolutely not!” Ames turned my way, about a beat away from throwing down his microphone stand and striding off stage. He paced on the stage, running his hands through his long blonde hair, loosening the braid he had down the middle like a mohawk. Ames could be cast in the next Viking show, though he was too lean for war.

“What choice do you have?” Emmit replied, a twitch in his cheek, which I knew as a sign he was frustrated with Ames. “Ziggy is gone; he has been for six months! You need the spot filled now, and you know it!” Emmit motioned to where Ziggy usually was, but his eyes drifted to me before jumping back to Ames.

I felt the underlying accusation. They felt the need to fill it faster because of me. Being the only woman in a rock band already came with a lot of pressure, but I felt it even more because of who I was.

“We’ll open it to auditions,” Ames retaliated.

“You already did, and you rejected them all!” Emmit’s arms went up.

“They all sucked.”

“No one is going to be Ziggy.” Emmit took a deep calming breath, which he did a lot around Ames. “You guys have been together for a long time. I get it’s hard to imagine anyone else in his place.” He motioned to the blank space, wrenching my heart. My lids filled up with tears and I quickly blinked them away. It never got easier. “But you are no longer those kids practicing in a burnt-down warehouse. You were nominated for Best New Artist and Best Song of the Year last year.”

“Which we lost tothem!”

Them, meaning our nemesis,The Velvet Kings. A band the industry had pitted against us since the beginning. People said our sounds were similar, which only pissed us off more.

The Velvet Kings were hacks. A bunch of pretty boys who had no heart or soul in their music. Fans didn’t seem to care. At one time, they might have been more original, but now they were produced and formulated to be a hit. They caved to the music industry and whored out for money.

They were a bunch of assholes, who I heard barely tolerated each other either, which didn’t surprise me. A long time ago, when we were all starting out, I had auditioned to be their drummer. Let’s say it didn’t go well, though I was glad now it hadn’t worked out.

We crossed paths at events and award shows, but I stayed as far as I could from them.

Mental Breakdownwas my home, my family, my brothers. Even if they weren’t in blood, they were in every other way. It was not as if I knew who my blood family was anyway. Ziggy and I had been in the foster system together. Music was our way to stay out of trouble and have a reason to keep going when things got dark.

“No fucking way that asshole will take his place!” Ames swung back for Emmit, putting his back to me again, his frame dramatically flailing about.

What? Who was he talking about? Someone was taking Ziggy’s spot?I hated not knowing what was going on. I hit my stick on the ride cymbal with irritation.

With a heavy sigh, Ames curved his body to face us all. “We all agree, right?” He motioned to the rest of us, Geo and Tobias nodding in agreement. I seemed to be the only one who was clueless.

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