Page 140 of Hope & Harmony

I sighed and grabbed her hand; it was as soft as I remembered. “I’m not sure it’s worth having if you aren’t scared. I’d rather be afraid than not feel anything.”

She tried to pull her hand away, but I didn’t let her. “And you think this is going to somehow go differently than before?”

“Of course,” I said, without a shadow of doubt. “I’m older, I’ve lost my touch, so I’m going to need a lot of direction.” I stood and pulled her to her feet. “Maybe it’s time to stop fighting so hard and just give into the fear. Life is about more than sitting in this chair and creating dreams and melodies for other people.”

“Did you practice this speech before walking in here?”

“I literally wrote it down on my hand.” I teased. “And then I forgot all of it after seeing you. I wanted to sweep you off your feet and ended up falling a bit harder; maybe I’m out of practice.”

She rolled her eyes. “You know you can’t just walk into a studio and seduce the writer after almost two years, it doesn’t really work that way.”

“Seduce?” I frowned. “I just wanted to be your friend. I’m sorry, did I miscommunicate?”

“You ass!” She laughed. “Be honest, why are you here?”

“I ran,” I admitted. “The minute I was done with the military. I ran home, I showered—don’t worry, I made sure to practice this speech in my head—and then I ran to you.” I shrugged. “Gerald helped.”

“Of course he did. He’s a romantic like that.”

“So?”

“Dinner.” She shrugged. “Buy me dinner first, then we can talk.”

“And the song?”

She leaned up and wrapped her arms around my neck. “It’s yours.”

Her hands dropped too fast, she turned even faster, and I was once again feeling like I was chasing something I would never catch, no matter how hard I tried.

It wasn’t an obsession.

It was something deep, something that I couldn’t stop thinking about the entire time I was gone. I knew that I walked away first in order to keep myself from hurting while I told myself it was the best for her and her career.

After all, what good would it do to have the media find out that an up-and-coming producer and guy from one of the biggest K-pop groups in the world hooked up?

She would have never made it.

They would have destroyed her.

It was easier to destroy us, hoping that later on, I could possibly salvage what was left after she made a name for herself.

CHAPTER 4

LYRIC

I would be lying to myself if I didn’t at least admit how much I’d thought about him and what happened between us.

It hurt.

When he left, it hurt bad, but I didn’t want to be clingy, and I definitely didn’t want to be the sort of fangirl to just chase after him when clearly, he’d needed his space. By the time he and his group blew up and he found out he’d be enlisting within the next year, I’d all but convinced myself to forget about him. I stopped checking the news and only focused on the songs. I did hole up a bit and just decided that my only job was to write for musicians, and they all looked and felt the same when they came into the studio.

Some were incredible, others were into themselves so much I wanted to offer them an extra mirror just in case theirs broke.

Being in LA was a breath of fresh air, something I’m sure a lot of people wouldn’t agree with...but for me, it was just far enough away from Seoul that unless they dropped a new song, I didn’t see anything about him.

While K-pop was blowing up, it was still easy to avoid in the States. I kept my head down, and I wrote.

I just never expected him to come back.

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