I listened to everything that came out of her mouth as if she was telling me the world’s biggest secrets.
I didn’t so much as try to get her to make out with me. Being around her was enough. It was all I wanted. To be with someone, to really be with them on a level other than physical, was something I’d never experienced before. Something I never had, and I didn’t want it.
The bullshit.
The emotions.
The ups and downs.
After our first talk in the woods, I’d hung out with a couple of girls, trying to forget about Hayley to no avail. I couldn’t stop thinking about her, and anytime a girl attempted to kiss me, Iinstantly turned my face. Feeling like I was cheating on Hayley which didn’t make any sense.
At that point, we’d had one conversation, but it felt like the deepest connection I’d ever had with anyone in all my life. I didn’t understand any of it. The need to be around this girl was throwing me off-kilter. I thought about her constantly—the next time I would see her, talk to her, hold her …
The list was endless.
Our connection was easy, we didn’t have to work at it. It wasn’t a burden or a struggle to be with her like it sometimes was with other chicks. I used to get bored the minute the sex stopped, moving on to the next.
Not with Hayley, though. I wanted more. Our dynamic flowed seamlessly, our conversations, our chemistry, ourfriendship. Another thing that was new to me was being friends with a girl I was hanging out with. I never cared to get to know them. They were a means to an end.
It was simple.
Now I was in a dynamic I couldn’t get enough of. One of the things I adored the most about her was the subtle looks she would give me when she didn’t think I was looking.
She came into my life like a breath of fresh air, and I breathed her in like a man who was suddenly on death row. Unable to fight against her pull. Every time I was with her I was lost in us. I never expected to fall for her. I wasn’t even looking for anyone, but there she was, this girl with such a force, such a drive. It was so powerful that I never stood a chance.
“Did you hear what I said, Joshua?” she questioned, bringing me back to the present. When she’d just told me she loved another guy.
“I heard you.”
“Do you believe me?”
“You haven’t given me a reason not to. I don’t want to talk about David anymore.”
“Good.” She smiled, and it lit up her entire face. “I’m starving.”
For the next hour, we ate dinner on the bow and talked about nothing in particular.
I watched the way her lips moved.
The way her hair blew in the wind, framing her face.
The way she laughed with her whole body, feeling it deep in my bones.
I especially watched the way she looked at me as I swept her hair away from her face. She didn’t say a word, but her eyes spoke for her. The way she affected my mind and heart was terrifying, but it was so real.
So consuming.
She felt it too. That much I knew.
Breaking the strong connection that held both of us captive, I cleared my throat and stood up, bringing her right along with me. Something came over my senses, and I reached for my phone in my pocket to hit my playlist. Once I found the song I wanted, I set it down on the ground next to our makeshift picnic, which I’d made just for her.
With the music, the boat rocking softly, and the bright moon shining above our heads, I spun her into my arms before holding her close to my chest. Taking one of her hands, I placed it on my shoulder then intertwined the other with mine, placing it near my heart.
Her face conveyed so many emotions in a matter of seconds, and I paid attention to each and every one. She placed the side of her face on my chest, and I knew what she was trying to do, but it didn’t matter because I already felt everything she was trying to hide.
“Tell me something you’ve never told anyone,” she uttered out of nowhere.
I thought about it for a second. “I want to be a doctor.”