Page 26 of Dirty Player

“Jesus. She didn’t think to tell you?” he grunts.

I shake my head. “She doesn’t owe me anything...and in her words, it’s been months.”

He lifts a shoulder and nods. “True. You okay?”

No.

“Yeah. I, ah, I said a few things I shouldn’t have,” I confess. “If I’d known she was going to be there, I could have processed it beforehand, you know.”

Atlas nods.

“But I was a dick.”

“So apologize. Move on,” my brother says.

“Yeah.” I unfold my arms and run a hand through my hair.

As if it’s that easy. I thought she was important. That we were each other’s future. Kaylee was not just some girl I dated for a few weeks.

Despite telling her that.

Despite telling Atlas that months ago.

He watches me.

“Dude.” I lift my eyes to his. “You still like her.”

“I neverdidn’tlike her.” I growl, knowing I should shut up, but the words fall out and I can’t stop them.

This is what she does to me.

She tilts my world, and I feel unbalanced.

Atlas drops his jacket over the back of the sofa and plants his hands on his hips. “Do not forget what happened. The coach nearly dropped you at Penn State. You need to stay focused on the game. Not Kaylee Rose.”

“You think I don’t know that?” I snap.

Glancing down, he draws in a breath. “God, Levi, I want to throttle this girl. If she fucks this up for you...”

I push away from the chair and walk over to him, slapping him on the shoulder. “She can’t. Only I can do that. Listen, don’tworry, this is far too important to me. It was just a surprise today. That’s all. I’ll be fine tomorrow.”

I meant what I said. I can blame Kaylee all I want, but I don’t want to hear anyone else doing that. After all, it’s my responsibility to stay focused. No one else’s.

I’m a professional athlete. If I gave that power away to anyone else, I’d fail in a week.

“Anyway, I don’t think she’ll talk to me again after what I said. So it’s likely we’ll just zig and zag, keeping out of each other’s way.” I smirk, a little ashamed.

My parents raised me to respect women, so it wasn’t a proud moment.

But she broke my heart

I’ve never admitted this. Not even to myself. Before Kaylee cheated on me, I was struggling with my feelings for her.

I’d fallen in love.

As brothers we’d claimed we’d never marry—now of course they’d all broken that vow—so being the youngest and still at college, it had taken me by surprise.

How could I be in love so young?