Page 105 of Victorious Vice

She nods. “Yes. I was supposed to go with Falcon.”

I gaze out toward the pool. “And you got stuck with me.”

“Oh, Ray. That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Yes, you’re right. I shouldn’t be so defensive. I’m just so tired of all of this.” I scoff. “I went and fell in love with a fucking gangster.”

“You wouldn’t fall in love with someone who isn’t a good man.”

“I know that. And I know he loves me. That’s why he left me. He doesn’t want me in danger. Yet here I am in danger anyway. With a bodyguard. Being forced to stay with my parents.” I let out a sarcastic laugh.

Mom takes another sip of her wine. “I can’t lose you, Raven.”

“You’re not going to lose me, Mom.”

And damn it, I mean those words with all my heart. I didn’t let cancer get me, and I’m certainly not going to let some mafia hit get me.

“But Iamgoing to live my life,” I add.

“I know. You’ve lost too much of it already.” She pats my hand gently. “You and Falcon had years of your life stolen through no fault of your own.”

“So you never thought Falcon was guilty.”

Mom steels her face. “I know he wasn’t. Falcon’s one of the good men. He and Leif were supposed to join the Navy SEALs together after college. They’d been talking about it for a good decade, since they were teens. He was twenty-two years old. He knew how to handle a gun better than your father did. And that’s saying a lot because your father’s an excellent shot. So am I, for the record, so I know what I’m talking about. I’ve watched all of you learn to shoot a gun, and I know which one of you is the best at it. Falcon. My oldest. And there was no way he would’ve accidentally shot anyone. He was too careful for that.”

“So you’ve always known.”

“That he was protecting someone? Yes, I have. He was protecting Hawk.”

“Hawk?”

“Yes, he and Hawk were outside doing target practice. Who else could it have been? Who else might’ve been using Falcon’s gun?”

I take another sip of my wine. Do I tell my mother the truth?

“He had to take the blame for it,” Mom continues. “You know Hawk. His sense of justice. He couldn’t have handled being labeled a criminal. What I don’t understand is why Hawk didn’t confess. His conscience should have made him.”

Funny how my mother can’t see the truth in front of her eyes. If Hawk had shot that cop, hewouldhave confessed. That’s who Hawk is.

“Mom,” I say, “Hawk is as good a shot as Falcon is. And Robin and I are pretty good as well. The one who never took to it…was Eagle.”

Mom blinks. “Eagle is good with a gun.”

“I’m not saying he’s not. I’m just saying he’s not as good as the rest of us. And…he’s the most erratic of the five of us.”

Mom says nothing.

Until, “Eagle wasn’t there, Raven. Only Hawk. So it must’ve been Hawk who Falcon was protecting.”

Oh God. My mother really doesn’t know what’s going on. But I’m not going to be the one to tell her. I can’t be the one to tell her that her baby—my baby—is the one who shot an innocent young police officer.

“Falcon swears it was him,” I say, robotically.

“Yes, I know.” She lays a hand over her heart. “But a mother knows.”

She’s right about one thing. Falcon didn’t shoot the police officer. But neither did Hawk. So a mother reallydoesn’tknow. Maybe she’s just fixing the scenario in her mind in the way that makes sense to her.

“Did you know your father taught me how to shoot?” she says.

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