Page 45 of Falling for the Forward

He nods, not looking happy about it.

When the photographer gets us all together and poses us in the middle of the rink for a photo, I get that same feeling I had when the wedding photographer was taking photos. Like looking at this picture will hurt someday.

Only this time, I know it’ll hurt worse. The closer I get to Carter and the girls, the harder it is to know the clock is ticking on our little family.

Only he and I know that our first Christmas together is also our last. Unless I can somehow convince him to keep me on as his nanny after our marriage ends.

I’ve already started thinking about it. It would be awkward at first, but we could make it work. I planned to start over after the year, but leaving the girls would break my heart.

Seeing him with another woman would do the same thing, though. Could I go back to just being his nanny while he dates women like Kaia, maybe even marrying one someday?

I don’t know. Right now, none of the options seem great.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Carter

“Uncle Carter.”

I try to brush away the tickle of something near my earlobe. There’s a giggle.

“Uncle Carter, it’s Christmas.”

I open my eyes and see the outline of Hallie sitting next to me in bed. When I sit up, I see Darling lying in the center of the bed, snoring.

“Suki said to let you sleep until the sun comes up. I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

“What time is it?”

Suki’s side of the bed is empty. I pick up my phone from the nightstand and check the screen. It’s 4:11 a.m.

Fuck me, it’s early. But Hallie is low-key bouncing with excitement. There’s no way she’s going back to bed.

“Okay, are we opening presents now?” I ask.

“Yes! I’ll go get Charlotte and Olivia.”

She races from the room and I go to the bathroom. I’m a little more awake after splashing water on my face and brushing my teeth.

I leave Darling to sleep and head downstairs, the lights from the tree creating a soft glow in the family room. Suki is kneeling in front of the tree, doing something with a gift.

The three stockings hanging from the mantle are all filled and there are gifts stacked on gifts beneath and around the tree. I stop and take it all in, a pang of guilt hitting me in the gut.

I should have helped with all of this. I watched SportsCenter in the bedroom until I fell asleep.

“Merry Christmas.” Suki looks up at me and smiles, then stands up.

She’s not even mad. I didn’t help her with any of this and she’s not even mad about it.

“Merry Christmas. It looks incredible in here.”

“Thanks. Did Hallie wake you up?”

“Officially, no.”

She laughs softly. “She’s really excited.”

Footsteps pound on the stairs and I turn to see all three girls racing down. I switch on a light and walk over to sit down on the couch.

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