Page 40 of Guarded from Danger

Fuck. I really don’t want to tell her this. “The FBI found someone. A… body. They think…” I trail off as a shudder runs through her body. “I’m sorry, Luce. I really am.”

She puts her head on my shoulder. Her shoulders rise and fall in a careful rhythm, which I’m pretty sure is the box breathing technique Erik showed her the other day. “I’m sorry, Luce,” I repeat, still stroking her hair. “I’m sorry.”

After a deep breath, she lifts her head and meets my gaze. To my relief, her eyes are pink and slightly glassy, but she’s not outright crying. “That sucks. A lot.”

“Yeah, it does.”

Another deep breath and a slow exhale. “But I’m not going to let this break me. I’m stronger than that. Or I will be.”

I press my lips to the top of her head. “You already are.”

She lifts her chin, more defiant than beaten. “I’d like to meet her. The woman they rescued. If she’s open to it… I think it could help both of us.”

Oh, Lucy.

My throat goes thick. “I’ll talk to Cruz. See if he can work out a video call once she’s feeling better.”

“Okay.” She swallows hard. “And the person who—is it a woman?”

“A man.”

After a pause, she says, “If you could ask Dante, or Cruz… I’d like to offer to help his family. With… expenses. Food while they’re dealing with this. A scholarship fund. Just… something. I don’t like to use my parents’ money, but for this, I think it’s okay.”

For a moment, I don’t trust myself to speak.

Then I hug Lucy closer, my love for her so intense it feels like it’s bursting out of my body. “I think that’s a really great idea.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN

LUCY

“Hey, Luce, can you stay in here for a little while longer?”

I glance up from my phone to see Xavier standing in the bedroom doorway, looking particularly sexy in mesh athletic shorts and a T-shirt that pulls across his broad chest and shoulders. His legs are lean but muscular, tanned from the daily walks we’ve been taking, lightly dusted with hair turning bronze from the sun. As he crosses his arms, his biceps bulge, his golden skin contrasting with the white of his shirt.

Then there’s the way his shorts drape just so, more than hinting at another part of him I’ve been longing for.

We still haven’t had sex—at least not since I got to B and A—and while I appreciate Xavier’s caution, I’ve decided I’m more than ready for it. Since our date earlier in the week, we’ve been more intimate, tender kisses shifting to more passionate ones and hands exploring beneath our clothes.

I’m not sure why I haven’t come right out and said I want to make love. It’s not like I haven’t in the past; like that time I waited for Xavier to come over to my house after a work trip, wearing only one of his button-downs with all the buttons undone. The look on his face as the fabric parted, giving a quickglimpse of skin, and how the tails of the shirt just brushed my thighs as I moved… Or the times I’d join him in the shower the morning after he stayed over, bringing in a washcloth and offering to wash him all over.

If I didn’t have a problem with initiating sex before, why am I hesitating now?

My counselor suggested it could be because I’m still feeling scared and vulnerable, and I’m subconsciously avoiding intimacy as a way to protect myself.

It could be that. But I don’t think so. I never feel more protected than I do with Xavier.

Or maybe I’m afraid it won’t be like before. That I’ll be timid and Xavier will treat me like spun glass and I’ll discover the incredible connection we used to have has been broken.

That despite my recent claims to the contrary,I’mbroken.

“Lucy?” Xavier’s smile fades into something more serious. “Are you okay?” He moves into the bedroom, his gaze now dark and worried as he inspects my face. “Did something happen?”

“No.” I give myself a mental shaking. “I’m fine. Really. I just… got distracted for a second.”

“By something bad?” He sits next to me on the bed, one hand covering mine. “Do you want to talk about it?”

As I look into Xavier’s chocolate brown eyes, so soft and concerned, determination chases away my hesitancy.

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