Page 32 of Guarded from Danger

“I understand,” Rhiannon says. “But maybe she needs to be pushed.”

“And hurt her again? Make her feel like she can’t trust me? I’ve already done enough, Rhi. And then I let her down today. I can’t?—”

My stomach twists. He already was blaming himself and now I’ve given him something else to feel bad about.

“Xav. None of this is your fault.” It’s gently scolding. “You know that. Going to the gym… there was no reason to think?—”

“But Ishouldhave. I should have thought?—”

“Xavier.” Her tone softens. “You need to stop blaming yourself for things that aren’t your fault. Lucy being taken. The flashback.” She stops. “What happened to me.”

“How can I not, Rhi? I was there. As your friend, your brother, I should have realized?—”

“No, you shouldn’t have. Because I didn’t want anyone to know.”

My breath catches. I’ve known something happened with Xavier’s Green Beret team, something that contributed to him leaving the Army, but he hasn’t said, and I haven’t wanted to push.

But now I’m thinking, maybe couples need to push each other sometimes. Not to hurt them, but to help when the other person is struggling.

“Rhi…” Another heavy sigh. “I wish?—”

“Have you thought about sending her to the Refuge?” Rhiannon changes the subject. “It could help. You know how much it helped Nora.”

“I don’t know about that…”

I’m just connecting Nora’s name—she’s one of the members of the Blade and Arrow team in Sleepy Hollow—when the other part of her statement hits me.

The Refuge? Where is that? What is it? And does Xavier want me to leave?

Hurt slams into me with such intensity, I’m breathless from it.

He said he was with me. That he has my six. Does he…

A wounded sound comes out of me, part whimper, part moan. It feels like something has carved out my chest and filled it with ice.

At the same time, Xavier peers into the apartment, his eyes widening as he sees me. “Luce. Are you okay—” He grimaces. “Ah, shit.” To Rhiannon, he says, “I have to go.”

She gives a soft reply, but I can’t hear what she says. A moment later, Xavier comes inside and shuts the door quietly behind him. He locks it, then heads straight to me, concern etched into his handsome features.

He takes my hand in his. “Lucy. Are you okay?”

I look into his deep brown eyes, suddenly seized with the urge to cry. “Do you want me to leave?”

His face jolts with shock. “No, Lucy. Of course not. Never.”

My voice wobbles as I ask, “Then what’s the Refuge?”

“Oh, Luce.” Xavier hugs me, pressing his lips to the top of my head. Then he tugs me over to the couch and pulls me onto his lap. “I’m sorry you heard that out of context. Rhi was just making a suggestion. But it doesn’t mean… I don’t want you to leave. Only if it was the best thing for you.”

I’m confused. “Do you think it’s better if I leave?”

“No.” And then, “I don’t know.”

It feels like I’ve been kicked in the stomach. “If you want me to go…”

“Shit.” Xavier meets my gaze, guilt and regret in his eyes. “I’m fucking this up, Luce. I’m sorry. The last thing I want is for you to leave.”

“Then—”

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