Page 31 of Tank

“Is that what you did with Nat? Get her interested enough to want to see your junk?” I raise my brow.

“Nope. I didn’t even know his name. We met at his sister’s wedding. It was meant to be one and done in the reception venue bathrooms but once I met his junk I couldn’t get enough of it,” Nat beams, plopping their chubby little girl in her daddy’s lap.

“I still had to work hard to get you to stay around though, babe,” Savage says, staring up at his Ol Lady.

“That you did, baby.” Nat drops a kiss on his lips and sashays off into the kitchen.

Watching first Rhodie and now Savage I decide that’s what I want, and the only way I’m going to get it is if I stop fucking about and start dating.

“OK, I’m going to ask Mira out.”

“Wait, I thought we already knew that?” Tav says, looking around at the others.

“You did. I’ve had a thought and I’m gonna run with it. Thanks brothers,” I hold out my fist and bump knuckles with them all, heading out the door.

“Tank?” Mama Debs calls out. I take a detour to the kitchen, knocking twice on the doorjamb.

“Yeah, Mama?”

“Don’t forget your lunch! I know you and Judge work through your breaks and I need you to stay strong and healthy,”

My lips twitch as I take the two big lunch boxes by their handles, dropping a kiss on Mama Deb’s cheek. “Thanks, Mama.”

I turn and head out the door, but not before Mama Debs calls out “Let me know if you need me to organize a picnic for the lovely Mira and yourself, I’ll get it all sorted.” I give her a grin and a wave and leave out the back door, beelining for my bike.

Securing the lunchboxes in my saddlebags, I throw my leg over my girl and start her, letting her vibrate my nerves away as I pull up my phone and type out a message.

Tank: Hey Mira, it’s Tyson. Would you like to go out with me?

Mira: Yes! I’d love that! When? Today? This evening? Will there be food? Will I need to wear pants?

Her enthusiasm and wild texting has a smile on my face as I shake my head. I thought we would schedule for later this week, but shit, if she’s keen for tonight then so be it.

Tank: Tonight if you’re not too busy? I can pick you up, wear pants, and something warm. There will be food.

Mira: Then I’m in like Flynn! You know where I live! ;)

Smiling to myself I put my phone away, rev my engine and pull out, heading toward the gates. Looks like I’ll be needing Mama Deb’s services sooner rather than later.

Mira

Oh my god oh my god oh my god! Tank, I mean Tyson, asked me out! Me! Weird old Mira. Big, tall, weird old Mira. Big, tall, too loud, weird old - OK, that’s enough freaking out. I have things I need to do. Like finish this one section I’m working on and then very calmly get myself ready for my date. With Tyson!

The squeal and little happy clap jog I do startles Mrs. McKenzie from where she likes to sit her fluffy ginger behind on my desk.

“Oops, sorry Mrs. Mac. It’s just I have a date, old girl. So I need to concentrate on my work and then think about what I’m going to wear.” I stroke her bright ginger fur, running my fingers through the silky strands, and think about running my fingers through Tyson’s chest hair. I’ve seen the dark blonde strands that stick up out of his shirt and I would love to know exactly where all that hair goes. Hopefully, it’s all over his chest and not just in a funny little patch at the top of his throat and then nowhere else, because that would be odd. Note to self: Perhaps write my villain with odd chest hair. I type that note in my list of notes that perpetually sits open in a tab on my laptop and flick back to the scene I’m working on. It’s a classic part of romance, the third act breakup. This one is made slightly trickier by thefact that not only does the heroine have an evil identical twin, but so does the hero. Shaking my head to myself I marvel at some of the weird stuff I come up with. Maybe I should move to the small town romance genre. I’m less likely to be sent body parts by small town romance fans. I think.

I let my mind get into the scene I’m writing and everything flows through my fingers, without me even noticing. That’s the thing about writing. I may be in charge of typing and doing all the admin stuff, but the characters themselves are who dictates the scene. If they want to torture their identical twin for information then so be it.

I type away like this, letting the people from inside my head tell me their stories, and it’s only when my alarm to stretch goes off I notice the time. Holy sands of time, Batman! I have an hour and a half to get ready and it’s not enough time! Jumping up in a panic I startle Mrs. Mac from my desk, her giving me the stink eye as she walks away.

“Argh, sorry! I just need to get ready for a date, Mrs. Mac and I don’t know where to start! Should I wash my hair? I will shave but how far up do I go? To the knee? Or higher? All the way up? HELP ME!” I screech at my cat, who looks at me calmly and slowly blinks before jumping up onto the couch, plopping her fat cat body down and going to sleep.

“I don’t know why I even bother talking to you,” I mumble at her as I speed walk to the bathroom, turning the shower on to heat as I throw my clothes off.

For some god unknown reason Nana has a full-length mirror in her bathroom. It was probably some weird old timey weight loss thing. You’re so disgusted by what you see it spurs you into eating less. Not me though. I just ignore it. Well, usually I do. Today though I stare at myself and try to imagine what Tyson sees. I have good legs, I’ll give myself that. They’re toned and shapely, probably from carrying these gigantic boobs around.They droop, because big boobs always do, but I don’t mind that. I’d look weird as heck if they were up under my chin all the time. Running my hand down my soft belly I grip the little overhang when I get to it. I would prefer a nice toned tummy but alas, I work a sit down job. Although I did see this treadmill thing where I could walk while working. Grabbing my phone from where I left it on the countertop I search up ‘treadmill’ and am inundated with images of treadmills and standing desks. And would you look at that! Amazon has a special on treadmills AND even has a standing desk to go with it. AND the price is phenomenal! I press buy now, work through my details (lets face it, Amazon knows me on a personal level) and hit buy now.

Feeling buoyed by my new purchase I step into the shower tub and get to work lathering everything up. And when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING. I start at the bottom. I have one hairy toe so I defuzz that little guy first. I make my way up my legs, front and backs. I feel like this date calls for that. I have been set up a couple of times and on those dates I only defuzz the front. Don’t want to put too much effort into a dud. Tyson however, he is definitely no dud. Which is why when I get to my knee I decided to go a little higher. So high in fact that I’m now sporting a new hairdo down below as well. Nothing too crazy, just a jaunty little triangle pointing to the main event. You know, just in case. I mean, I haven’t really had anyone enter the Batcave before, but there’s always hope that the right man will venture in there. For a bit of spelunking. I snort to myself because that’s a funny word and keep on with my grooming.

---