Page 2 of Tank

He stares at me like I’m nuts, so I shrug in reply.

“Wait, Chewy is Rhodes Paxton’s Ol Lady, right?” I nod at him, “Sidney Tombs’ granddaughter? The one with the gator?” I nod again and realization dawns across his face. “It’s all beginning to make sense now.”

“Can we-?” I ask, wanting to get this shit over and done with.

“Yeah, of course.” We move toward his cruiser, and he indicates the passenger side. “I’ll let you ride up front. DRMC is full of good men, no need to sit in the back. Besides, I don’t think I got all the vomit out from earlier.” He grins at me and gets in. Either he knows this is all shit, or he’s the worst sergeant on the face of the earth.

We travel to the station in silence. If I’m honest, I’m not a big talker anyway, but riding shotgun in a police car on my way to being booked for something I have no idea about? Yeah, words ain’t coming easy.

We pull into the small station, Davies studying me for a moment. “Right, let’s get you booked.”

He doesn’t waste much time after that. The easy going Sergeant Davies replaced with a serious professional. Paperwork gets done, I’m given a rundown of how everything is going to work and the next thing I know I’m sitting in a holding cell minus my wallet, my knives and my boots. Staring down at my feet, I decide that I’ll purchase new socks when I get outta here.

“Oh, hey, what are ya in for?” A peppy voice to my left asks. “Lemme guess. Hmmm, did you murder someone?”

Letting out a sigh, I don’t even look up. “Do you think it’d be a good idea to make small talk with a murderer?”

“So you DID murder someone? I knew it! How did you do it? Gun? Knife? Expanding foam in the rear end?”

My head snaps to the side. “What the fuck?”

“What?” Wide green eyes stare back at me. “People never think to use mundane DIY products in their murders. It’s always the same unimaginative carp.”

“Did you just -”

“Yes sir, clean mouth here. No cursing, that’s what my nana taught me. Well, no cursing out loud. In my books, I curse all the time.”

I raise an eyebrow at her, and she raises one back. This woman is probably crazy. Which would make sense because she’s the hottest woman I’ve laid eyes on in a long ass time. She’s sitting on the crappy wooden bench in the cell next to me, so I can’t tell how tall she is exactly, but from what I can see she’s curvy as hell. Big tits, cleavage peeking out from the top of her pinup type dress, thick thighs, soft belly. Blonde curls, big green eyes and pink pouty lips.

“I write romance novels. But not the usual stuff. My ones have murder in them. Sexy murder romance. Or romantic, murder sex.” She frowns at this.

“So, which one is it?”

Her head snaps up as if she forgot I asked her something. She squints at me, then waves a hand dismissively. “All the above. Maybe?” She shrugs and keeps talking. “So, was I right? Did you murder someone?”

The amount of words that keep spilling out of her is a little overwhelming, but I can’t imagine she’s going to be quietanytime soon and I have no idea how long I’ll be in here for, so I may as well make the best of it.

“I was accused of assaulting someone.”

She nods as if that all makes sense. “I mean I get it. Your hands are the size of hams. The ones with the bones in.”

“Thanks?”

“You’re welcome,” she beams at me. “Wow, you’re really good looking. Such a sharp jaw. I bet you could grate cheese on that jawline. A total grater face. And your body looks like the muscles are really meaty. Like whole slabs of muscles instead of little piddly individual ones. What size are you exactly? Like how big are you? Height, weight, all that stuff. You’d make a great book character.”

“Excuse me?” I gape at her. There is no way in hell I’m going to be a sexy murder romance character. Instead of giving her my stats I decide to distract her. “So, what are you in for? Did you murder someone?”

She snorts as if that’s the funniest thing in the world, “Puhlease. I’d never get caught if I did. But no, I’m in for harassment and indecent exposure.”

My brows hit my hairline. This somewhat sweet looking, maybe crazy lady went down for harassment and indecent exposure?

She lets out a sigh, her breasts heaving under her pretty dress, “Yeah, I approached a man, big, like yourself. I wanted to know if he’d be strong enough to lift me up and bang me against a wall. With clothes on. It was strictly for research, to see if it could be done. Anyway, I may have gotten a little dog and bone-ish and may have not taken no for an answer. So I followed him a little pleading my case and then, THEN when I finally decided to give up I slipped on an actual banana peel, ramming into him, taking him down landing with my face in his junk.”

I try not to laugh at the visual, but she keeps going.

“And to make matters worse this dress was not built for falling and my girls popped clean out of the top.”

“Hence the indecent exposure?”

---