Page 8 of GAF Factor

“Then when you’re ready, you’ll come to me.”

I wanted to see him so badly, but I didn’t want to confuse things between us. So much had happened in that storage container. Things I never thought would happen, like facing my own mortality, had put a new spin on life. I should be out thanking God I was alive, going on shopping sprees and buyingmyself new clothes. But instead, I was holed up in this house, waiting for…something.

Setting the phone down, I knew I couldn’t call him. I wasn’t ready to go to him, and I wouldn’t confuse him or myself by calling him before I was ready. Ready for what? I didn’t know what I wanted. I couldn’t jump into something with IKE when I was still with Kavanaugh, and I was finding it hard to tell Kavanaugh to leave even though I wasn’t sure about anything between us.

“If you stare at it, it’ll ring,” Riley said, coming into my room. She flopped down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. “Are you going to spend another day moping around the house?”

“I don’t mope.”

“You totally mope. I get it. You were taken and shoved in a large metal container. It’s way worse than Jason or Chucky coming after you. In fact, I’m not sure how you’ve managed to keep from curling up in a ball and rocking back and forth all night.”

I threw a pillow at her face. “You’re an ass.”

“Yes, but a very lovable one. So, where are we going today?”

“Do we have to?” I groaned, wanting to bury myself in a pillow all day.

“Well, you can come out with me or you can stay home with the guys all day. Bowie will irritate the hell out of you with his complaining, and Kavanaugh will ask you every five minutes if you’re okay and if you need something. I would think the choice is pretty clear, but hey, you do you.”

She stood and headed for the door.

“Wait.”

Turning back to me with a grin, she quickly wiped it from her face and batted her eyes at me innocently. “Yes?”

“I’ll go with you, but only because you’re less of a pain in the ass than the other two.”

“I figured you’d say that. Put on some warm clothes. We won’t be inside.”

“I’ve had enough of being cold,” I retorted.

“Yes, which is why I told you to put on warm clothes.”

And with that, she was gone. I marched over to my dresser, pulling out long underwear, jeans, and a sweater. “I really hate her.”

“Hate who?”

I shrieked as I spun, glaring at Kavanaugh. “What are you doing?”

“I just came upstairs,” he said, stunned by my reaction.

Meanwhile, I was still holding my chest, hoping my heart didn’t pound its way out of the cavern that most days felt entirely too empty. “Next time, make some noise,” I snapped.

He slowly walked toward me like I was a caged lion, his hand held out to me in a soothing gesture, my kitten in one of them. He always used Sasha against me as a kind of calming device. “Hey, I’m sorry.”

I instantly deflated, feeling like an ass for snapping at him when I clearly needed to get my shit under control. “It’s fine. I’m just…jumpy.” I took my precious baby from him, snuggling her against my face. She purred softly, rubbing her tiny nose against my face. I couldn’t take her cuteness sometimes. It undid me.

“Well, that tends to happen when you’ve recently been kidnapped.”

I smiled at his attempt at humor. I could see the longing in his eyes, the desperate need to find a way to comfort me. But I just couldn’t bring myself to set aside everything I’d been so angry about and accept what he was offering. I should. I knew I should. Kavanaugh was a good man, full of love and all the wonderful things I should want. But he also hid things from me too many times. Taking care of me after my ordeal didn’t wash away all that happened.

“Riley’s dragging me out of the house,” I said, changing the subject. “She said to dress warm.”

“Are you sure about that?”

My smile faded as I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. Concern marred his face, and as he shoved his fists into his pockets, I knew it was taking everything in him not to demand I stay home.

“I think it’ll be good for me to get out of the house,” I lied.

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