Page 25 of GAF Factor

I snorted again. I was doing a lot of that. Was snorting a thing? I snorted again and again, just to test it out.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Red snapped.

“Snorting.”

“Why?”

“Cuz I was thinking about snorting, and then I was wondering if I snort too much. Snort. That’s a weird word, huh? Snort.”

“Fuck, he’s so drunk,” Eli muttered. “If only I had thought to record this.”

“Who names their kid Guy, anyway? Like, did they forget his name and decided just to call him Guy?Uh…hey, Guy! I could do that, too. Maybe I’ll name my kid Person. Then I can be like,Hey, Person!And then I’ll never have to remember the kid’s name.”

“Well, have fun tonight,” Eli said, slapping Red on the shoulder.

I grinned at him. “Hey, you, too!” Then I turned to Red. “Why is he telling us to have fun? What are we doing?”

He rolled his eyes and opened the passenger side door of his truck, shoving me inside. “Sleeping.”

I frowned as I fell over the seat. “That doesn’t sound like fun.” Red flung open his door and got in, grabbing my head and tossing me upright. “Ow! Watch the neck. You could kill me.”

“Trust me, if I wanted to kill you, I would have done it as soon as we walked out of the bar.”

I grinned widely at him. “It’s my winning personality. You can’t get enough of me. I’m too pretty.”

“Yeah, that’s it.”

I sighed, leaning back in my seat. “Do you think she misses me?”

“Great, we’re onto the sad, lonely portion of the evening.”

“Because I think we were good together.” I swiveled my head to look at him. “You know, aside from all the times we were arguing.”

“And when you lied to her and refused to be honest with her.”

“That’s the same thing,” I muttered.

“So, you can figure that out when you’re drunk, but not when you’re sober?”

I sighed again. Sighing, that was another weird one. A big exhale into the universe. I did it again. And then again.

“What are you doing now?” he grumbled.

“Oh, sighing.”

“Because you’re sad, lonely, and pathetic?”

That sounded like an insult, but I couldn’t be sure. “No, I’m expelling my energy into the…ether or whatever.”

“If you start Icelandic throat singing, I will pull out my gun and shoot you.”

I laughed at that, pointing to the gun hanging on his gun rack. “You don’t have to. There’s one right there. I’ll even give you a head start.”

“That’s me that gives you a head start, idiot.”

I chuckled at my mistake, then swiveled in my seat to face him. “You know, I feel like we don’t talk enough.”

“Trust me, we talk plenty.”

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