Page 141 of GAF Factor

“Well, not that it matters. The department knows. I guess OPS will turn him in. He’s going away for a long time. I hear cops don’t have a very good time in prison,” she winced. “Guess he should have thought about that before he got in bed with the Irish.”

She was right, but I hated to think about anything happening to Shawn.

“Oh my God. Please tell me you don’t feel bad about him going to prison.”

I sighed heavily, rubbing my hand across my forehead in confusion. “It’s not that I feel bad, but…could you knowingly send someone to prison?”

“If he tried to kill me? Yes!”

“But it’s Shawn! At one time, I loved him very much.”

“Uh-huh, and then he tried to blow you up. I think that very much crosses the line between love and hate.”

“He didn’t want to do it,” I argued.

“You sound like a battered wife!”

“I know that, but?—”

“But what?”

There was no excuse for how I felt. I knew I couldn’t begin to explain it to her. It didn’t make sense to anyone, including me.But allowing him to go to prison, knowing what his life would be…I couldn’t wrap my head around it.

“Isles, he did this to himself,” she said softly.

“I know,” I said, feeling the weight of the words pressing on my chest. “I just…didn’t want to say it out loud.”

“Why?”

“Because…if he’s not in prison, I can tell myself that I got a divorce and my ex isn’t a scumbag. That he’s out there somewhere living a different life. Maybe he has a new wife and kids. We went our separate ways because we were incompatible. But if he’s in prison, then I married a man who was capable of not only becoming a dirty cop, but also stealing from the mob, putting my life in danger, and attempting to murder me.”

She put her hand on my shoulder and gave me a sympathetic look. “I really hate to point this out since you’re all depressed and everything, but IKE kills people. He’s not much better than your ex.”

“At least he wouldn’t kill me,” I grumbled.

“True. I’ll give him brownie points for that one.”

I sank down on the bed and hung my head. “God, when did my life get so depressing? We had plans! We were going to move out here and everything was going to be perfect. What went wrong?”

“Well, Kavanaugh lied to you on multiple occasions, his father manipulated him and you, his nasty fake fiancée pulled a few stunts, your ex tried to kill you?—”

I glared at her before she could continue. “It was a rhetorical question.”

“Oh. Well, I didn’t get that from the tone in your voice. Good to know.”

I flopped back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. “Maybe I should run away and join a commune.”

“I can’t see you sharing anything with anyone. You won’t even share your Jujyfruits with me. How are you going to share food and clothing?”

“I could go on a mission trip, then. Maybe a trip to Africa or something.”

“Where you might be taken hostage by guerrillas who will sell you or trade you for money or drugs?”

I rolled my head to look at her. “Way to look on the bright side.”

“That is the bright side. They could just kill you.”

“Then what would you suggest?”

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