“I told the guys we’d wait until morning.”
“Why?”
His gaze snapped up to meet mine. “Because you were passed out,” he said slowly. He set down the drink and rose to his full height. “As in not conscious. As in, fucking dead to the world.”
I rolled my eyes at his dramatics. “I wasn’t dead to the world. I was?—”
He grabbed me by the arms suddenly, shaking me. “Don’t fucking joke around with me. You didn’t see the terror on your face. You didn’t have to watch helplessly as someone you love just slipped away. Do you have any fucking idea what that felt like?”
Before I could answer, he pulled me flush against his chest, squeezing the life out of me. I closed my eyes, trying my hardest not to cry or let any emotions get in. If I did, what would happen? Would that bring up things better left behind? I couldn’t handle the emotional upheaval right now. I needed stability.
“IKE, I’m fine. I’m…I’m good.”
“You’re not fucking fine,” he hissed, his voice cracking. “I thought—” He pushed away from me, shoving his hand through his hair as he stormed across the room. When he ran out of space, he turned suddenly and faced me. “You should have fucking told me.”
I stared at him, unsure of what to say. “Told you what?”
“Told me that you weren’t okay. This doesn’t work if you’re not honest with me.”
“I was being honest with you,” I snapped. “I was okay. Nothing happened until yesterday. I was packing and—” I cut myself off, not wanting to think about the very thing that sent me into a tailspin.
“You what?”
I frowned, shaking my head.
“Isla, tell me.”
He wouldn’t stop asking. I knew he would pester me until he knew everything. “I was getting dressed and…my pants didn’t fit. They were too baggy. And my ribs are sticking out,” I admitted, ducking my head. “And I realized that I’m losing weight because…because of a lot of things. And I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t have an appetite—probably from the overdose—and I can’t just stop having nightmares. It doesn’t work that way. So, there’s a lot of shit going on right now. And obviously, it’s affecting me, but I didn’t realize how much until I saw it with my own eyes. And I just flipped out.”
Sighing heavily, he strode over to me and wrapped me in his arms. There was nothing better than being right here, but it wasn’t like I could just stay cocooned in his body for the rest of my life. I had to actually live it.
“We’ll work on that.”
“How?”
“First, we’ll fix the problem with Shawn. Then we’ll get you out.”
I brushed my nose against his chest, inhaling deeply. I loved the scent of his shirts. I wasn’t sure if he used cologne or not, but he always had this certain smell to him that I just wanted to wrap around me. It made me feel safe and warm.
“Are you smelling me?”
“Maybe.”
“Why?”
“Because I like the way you smell,” I mumbled, digging in deeper.
He chuckled, digging his fingers into my hair to massage my scalp. “You’re so weird.”
“But you love me.”
He sighed heavily. “Yeah, I do. Come on. Let’s get to bed. We have an early day tomorrow.”
“You’re not going to have sex with me, are you?”
He scoffed. “Just what every guy wants to hear.”
“Well, you sort of bent me in too many ways.”