Page 51 of The Man I Love

Sam closed her eyes, rolled into the wooden door, and pressed her back into the crook of it. “I’m fine,” she called out. “It’s the baby—makes me have to pee every two-seconds.”

There was a short pause before Renee called back. “Bull shit. Now, are you going to unlock this door, or do I have to ask Phin to go find me the key?”

Knowing better than to test her best friend, Sam unlocked the door, then proceeded to walk toward the sink, where she braced her hands on either side of the counter, and let her head hang between her shoulder blades.

“What’s the matter?” Renee demanded, folding her arms over her chest.

There were so many emotions rolling around in Samantha’s head that she didn’t even know where to begin. “It’s so muchharder than I imagined.” The words exploded from her lips like a beer bottle that had been shaken. She buckled from the weight of them, because saying the words aloud made them ten times more difficult to accept.

“No shit, Sherlock.” Renee walked over to her. “Did you really think this was going to be easy? You guys have been ignoring each other for months.”

It was true, but the reminder didn’t make things any easier.

Samantha was trying hard not to cry, but it was nearly impossible. Once she started there would be no way to stop. “I don’t know what to do,” she exclaimed, turning on the faucet in hopes that it would drown out her blubbering. “He’s acting as though we’re strangers. As though he doesn’t even know me, and I don’t think I can take that for three days.”

Renee’s fingers wrapped around Samantha’s hand. “Yes, you can,” she whispered. “If for no other reason, you’re going to do it for your baby.”

The reminder of their child caused a floodgate of emotion to burst out of her chest. Tears, snot, and an ungodly amount of fluid began dripping from her face. “I don’t know how to act around him anymore! I don't know what to say, what to do…” Her sobs were frantic, pathetic, and Renee grabbed hold of her shoulders and began shaking.

“That’s the problem, Sam—” she said forcefully, “you have to stopacting.You’ve been pretending likenothinghappened. Like yourbabywon’t be here in a couple ofmonthsand it has to stop. You can’t continue hiding in the bathroom, and pretending like everything is normal!”

“I’m not hiding,” Samantha yelled, wiping her nose with a handful of tissues.

“What do you call this, then?” Renee demanded.

Samantha crossed her arms at her chest, threw the tissues in the trash, then glanced over at her best friend. “I’m doing the best I can,” she said softly. “I’m trying to get along, to move on?—”

Renee shook her head and rested against the counter. “How can you move on when you haven’t even talked about what happened?”

Samantha froze,because for the first time in months, she had to admit her best friend was right.

21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

July

Present Day

New Jersey

It wastwenty minutes later when Sam finally emerged from the bathroom. Puffy eyed and red-faced, wearing a new maternity sundress that Renee had told her to put on. She needed to go back into the kitchen so the guys didn’t grow suspicious, but she stopped in the hallway, where muffled voices traveled to her ears. She placed her hand on the wall, then leaned close, careful not to make a sound.

“I never knew I could love someone so much,” Phin said. “I love your sister to death, but I love this baby in a way I never knew I was capable of.”

Tristan's baritone was barely audible. “I can imagine.”

“Are you ready for it, man?” Phin asked. “To be a dad?”

Samantha’s throat thickened as she waited for his reply.What if she didn’t like his answer? What if he wasn’t ready? What then?She pushed from the wall and forced herself to turn the corner.

Tristan and Phin were sitting at the bar, and all conversation ceased when she walked into the room. Sophia was high on Phin’s shoulder, and Tristan was at the bar, a paper plate piled high with food as he gazed in her direction. His eyes then drifted to her belly, to the dress she hadn’t been wearing when she left.

She wasn’t sure if it was paranoia, but she swore he looked confused. In truth, she was too. She’d stepped away to use the restroom in overalls and came back wearing this. It didn’t make any sense, but Renee said she had a plan, and being Sam’s ride or die since childhood, she went with it.

Sam squared her shoulders, walked into the kitchen, and pretended like every trace of her makeup wasn’t gone from her face. She picked up a paper plate and focused on the many choices of food in front of her—but none of them looked appetizing. Her stomach still ached, and her head pounded from her anxiety attack in the bathroom earlier.

“Everything okay?” Phin asked, causing Samantha to look up, just as Renee rounded the corner. She was whistling a tune and practically dancing into the kitchen.

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