Page 36 of The Man I Love

Silence filled the space between them for a good minute, but it was Renee who spoke first. “I’ve never heard him like that before. It scared the hell out of me.”

Tristan’s wounded face flashed into Samantha’s memory, and she pushed off the ground. “Maybe he’s still there,” she wailed. “Maybe there’s still time.”

Renee grabbed the edge of her dress, shaking her head. “It’s been hours, Sam,” she pleaded. “It’s almost midnight.”

Every cell in Samantha’s body froze as she came to terms with reality. Tristan was really gone. He’d really left. Without a word.

“What happened?” Renee whispered again.

Sam wrapped her arms around her waist and turned toward the window. Raindrops were spattering against the glass, each reflecting the lights of the city—each one unique like stained glass. She silently thanked the rain for waiting until she was home to fall. It was as though the entire city wept with her, mourning her loss.

Loss of a dream.

Loss of the gallery opening she’d worked so hard for.

But mostly for theloveshe once believed was stronger than this.

“He left,” she stated flatly, her eyes focused on a single drop of rain that clung to the window. It was full, and round, and perfect. “He left without saying goodbye. Without giving me a chance to explain.” Though she was speaking to Renee, her entire focus remained on the raindrop. The drop finally fell down the glass, having grown so heavy it couldn’t bear its own weight any longer. Its shape distorted, making it almost impossible to recognize what it had once been.

Sam’s throat constricted even farther, but she forced herself to continue. “He left,” she repeated. “He left and didn’t give me a chance to explain.” Pain seared through her veins, and she turned toward her best friend.

Renee only stood there, her hand covering her mouth.

“How could he do that?” Samantha shook her head. “How could he leave without giving me a chance to tell him what happened?”

Renee shook her head, and the numbness expanded in Samantha’s chest. As painful as it was to recall, Samantha gave her every detail she could remember about that evening. Every word, every syllable, even the part about Tristan finding out about Renee’s pregnancy.

Hours later,when everyone else was asleep, they both sat on the living room couch, curled up under a blanket. The sun had begun to rise in the sky when Samantha recalled another detail of the night. “Your dad was so desperate,” she whispered, “that I actually understood him.”

She wrapped her arms around her knees and pulled them hard against her chest. Shock and fatigue made her whole body feel foreign. “I knew there would be a scene when I found him on the gallery floor. I knew, so I took him upstairs … I was supposed to talk to him first,” she repeated. “I was supposed to?—”

Renee’s finger pushed against Sam’s lips. “Shhh…” This was the third time she’d told the story. The third time going through every detail, trying to make sense of what happened––yet she was no closer to understanding, and the pain in her chest was agonizing.

Sam closed her eyes and rested her cheek against a pillow. “I’ve lost him, Ren,” she whispered.

“You didn’t lose anyone—” Renee’s fingers pushed through Sam’s hair. “You’ll see?—”

Sam met her best friend’s eyes in the dark and shook her head. “You didn’t see the way he looked at me.”

Renee paused, her face contorted. “How did he look at you?”

Samantha swallowed hard, her throat feelings as though shards of glass had ripped holes through it. “Like he looks at your father.”

16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

January

Seven Months Earlier

Los Angeles

It was nearingdusk when Tristan pulled into the parking lot of City of Hope Cancer Hospital. He sat in his truck, still wearing the tuxedo he’d worn the night before, but now the shirt was open, his throat exposed, the sleeves pushed up to his forearms. Of all the places he could’ve gone when he landed this morning, he wasn’t sure what had brought him here.

Curiosity, he guessed.

He was curious about his brother, his father, his father’s new wife, and the new life that meant more to his father than the family he started thirty years ago.

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