Page 103 of Eight Steps to Alpha

“Tell Mom I love her?”

“Sure.”

“Bye, Dad.”

“Bye.”

Turning off the engine, Elliot shoved his phone in his pocket, and climbed out of the cab. From the pavement, he could see Mary standing in her kitchen window with an apron around her neck. He buzzed into the building from below, and could smell the aromas coming from the apartment before she even let him in.

“Oh God, you’re here already.”

He laughed, standing in the doorway. “Should I come back?”

She shook her head, waiving him forward. “No no, I just—” she yanked her apron from around her neck and clutched it in one hand. “The damn recipe said it would only take any hour, but I—” She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, then opened them again. “Wine. I need wine, how about you?”

Elliot followed after her, “Please,” She urged him to fill a glass with Merlot . “Help yourself,” she said. “Though I do have a chilled Chardonnay in the fridge if you prefer white?”

He shook his head, “This is great.” He helped himself to the bottle on the table, reading the label before setting it back down. “Everything smells fantastic.”

She grinned at him, then opened up a pan filled with sautéed garlic and onions. “Smoke and mirrors.” She smiled, taking a sip of her drink. “I learned it on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.”

He laughed “I think I saw that episode. Fe”— He paused for a second—“always watches it.” But he turned to the living room, and pulled in a deep breath.

Pictures of Mary were everywhere. With her parents, her friends…someone he guessed was her sister because they looked so much alike.

“Fe—that’s your roommate, right?”

He nodded. “Yes.” Feeling his chest grow tight in his chest.

“Is that short for Fiona? I can’t say I’ve ever heard the name before.”

He really didn’t want to talk about Fe, in fact, the whole point of him coming out tonight was to forget about her. But, how could he? They lived together. Had the same friends. The same life. “No.” He shook his head. “It’s just Fe. The element for iron.” All of a sudden, he was reminded of how stubborn she was. How she never backed down, even when she was wrong.

“Have you been roommates long?”

“Five years,” he answered. He turned toward the window, where the soft sounds of the ocean could be heard crashing against the shore. The last month began flashing back to him. Everything with Fe, with his brother, his father, and everything started to click into place. His father pushed him away because he thought it was right. And Fe pushed him away because— because… Why was she pushing him away?

He thought about their dinner all those weeks ago when they came up with the plan. “Why do you want her so bad?” she’d asked him. Because for once he wanted that girl. The one who never noticed him. Who thought she was too good for him. Only that girl, that girl he wanted now, wasn’t Mary… He didn’t know it then, but he knew it now.

But did Fe? Did she realize he wanted her? Or was she pushing him toward Mary because she thought she was what he wanted?

Or maybe it was like what his brother said. And she was scared. Just like he was. Scared of risking it all, and coming up with nothing.

Turning back to Mary, he watched as she pulled a tri-tip roast from the oven and set it on the counter. His heart was racing, and he felt like he may throw up, but he knew what he had to do.

“I’m sorry,” He set his wineglass on the table, and began patting his body for his keys. “I really have to go. I have to—” But he could barely think straight, let alone form a proper sentence.

Mary pulled the oven mitt from her hand and placed it on the counter. “Is everything okay?”

He frowned. “Yes—No. But I’m hoping that if I leave right now, I can change that.”

Mary leaned her hip against the counter, watching him. “Rain check?”

“No—I’m sorry.” He met her eyes, silently apologizing for his behavior. “I just.” He pulled his keys from his front pocket and turned toward the door. “I’ll explain later.” Running down the stairs as fast as he could, he climbed into his truck, and turned over the ignition. All he wanted was to be back with Fe, to grab her, and tell her exactly what he was thinking, exactly what he was feeling.

The drive back to their hime seemed to take forever, but in reality he barged into their apartment ten minutes later, and found her sitting on the couch in her pajama’s. She was eating a bowl of cereal, and stood the moment she saw him. “Elliot?”

But he only closed the door behind him and walked slowly toward her. He was sweating, his pulse racing, but he didn’t give a shit. He was going after what he wanted. Maybe for the first time in his life.

---