Page 56 of Eight Steps to Alpha

A moment later, after both of them had a few seconds to recover, he leaned forward and placed on hand on her knee. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Fe. You’re just human.”

She glanced up at him, hysteria barely contained in the back of her throat. There was no judgmental, no laughter, nothing but understanding in his kind blue eyes.

Air expelled from her throat, and she nodded. She didn’t even realize she was holding her breath. Didn’t realize how much his understanding would mean to her, but just like that, he comforted her, unlike any other human had ever been able to do before.

“Look,” He began again. “Every woman I’ve ever known has one of those things.” He glanced down to the vibrator and cleared his throat. “Honestly, I always assumed you already had one.”

She nodded, still slightly uncomfortable having his conversation with Elliot. “Really?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I mean,” He looked at the box, and made a face. “I was a little thrown off by its size, but you know, everyone has their preferences.”

She laughed, knowing he was teasing her, and grabbed for his pillow to throw in his face. “Shut up! I purchased it online! It seemed smaller in the pictures.”

He bit his lip. “Likely story.”

She grabbed the other pillow and began beating him over the head. “You’re. Such. A. Jerk,” she said between giggles and whacks with the pillow.

He held his arms up in defense, then waited for a moment of weakness before snatched the pillow from her grasp “Hey! It’s not my fault you’re having fantasies about me.”

It was said with a broad smile, one that was full of teasing and humor, but it didn’t strike her that way. She sat up, suddenly feeling raw, and open, and pushed herself from the bed. She grabbed her vibrator, but could barely think anymore. “I just—I— I don’t even —I don’t even want it.”

She tossed the vibrator back on his mattress, flung open the door, and marched down the hall to her room. The lights were on in the living room, and she noticed Colton in her peripheral vision, but she didn’t care anymore. She was pretty sure there was nothing in this world that would ever be more humiliating. Slamming the door behind her, she threw herself on the bed, and buried her face in her pillow.

She thought Elliot was trying to be comforting and awesome, but he was really just teasing her the whole time. Would tease her for the rest of their life, and she would never live it down. Never.

How could she have been so careless? How had she forgotten to switch the name or the order? Just when she had practically convinced herself the only way out of this was to move out of the apartment, the door to her bedroom opened, and she pushed up on her forearms. Ready to let him have it.

He wore only his gray sweat pants, pushed so low on his hips you could see his happy trail, but she somehow forced her eyes upward, and looked at his face.

His jaw was tight, set in a hard line, but it was his eyes that told her exactly how he was feeling. Sad. Hurt. Confused. “You forgot this,” he said, walking toward her and setting the package on her dresser.

“I told you, I don’t want it.”

He studied her a minute, his face just as confused as before. “But it has ten speeds.”

It was so obscure, so ridiculous of a statement, a tiny grin cracked at the corner of her mouth. Had he read the box?

But Elliot wasn’t laughing at all. He wasn’t even smiling. He actually appeared like something horrible had just happened to him. Without saying another word, he sat on the edge of her bed, his back facing her. “If you think you’re the only one who masturbates, you’re wrong.”

She resisted the urge to slap a hand over her mouth with embarrassment, because she was pretty sure Elliot was about to give her a sex talk. She wanted to stop him, to drop dead right in this moment, but at the same time, the curious side of her wanted to see how it all played out.

“My mom once walked in on me.” He cleared his throat. “It was the most horrible moment of my life.”

She bit her lip, trying to contain a grin. “I can imagine.”

“But the thing is, it’s natural. It’s healthy. And well, if you haven’t had sex in two years, I can imagine it being quite necessary.”

She nodded, feeling heat creep up her neck again. “You’re right.”

A frown tugged at his lips, and he turned around to face her again, pulling one knee up on the bed with him. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable, Fe, I just…”

She shook her head, “I know, you were teasing. It was too new I guess? I really just want to forget about it—”

His brow furrowed. “I’ve had fantasies about you too.”

His statement stopped her mid-sentence and her eyes widened. “What?”

He nodded. “It’s only natural, Fe.”

She sat up a little higher, a mixture of pride, embarrassment, and curiosity, rolling in her stomach. “What about?”

Now he smiled, shy and mischievous, and pushed himself from the bed. “I think that’s enough sharing for one evening.”

She pushed herself to her elbow and straightened. “No, wait. Now I’m curious, what kind of fantasies have you had about me?

He laughed, walked toward the door, and flicked off the light. “Goodnight, Fe.”

“Elliot!” She laughed, but the door had already closed behind him. She fell back on the mattress, grabbed a pillow and covered her face. Had Elliot really just admitted to having sexual fantasies about her? For some reason, the notion made her grin from ear to ear. Maybe it was normal? Maybe she was being too hard on herself? But God help her, it was taking all her self control not to run to his bedroom and demand he explain himself. But some things were better left unsaid. And this was probably one of them.

Probably.

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