Page 80 of Waiting for Tuesday

Tears were streaming down my face by now, and I shook my head. “It’s not your fault, Austin. You don’t need to be sorry.”

He opened his arms to me, not crying, but I could see he was close to it too. I stepped into his chest and let him hold me. He wasn't John, and he would never be, but I could tell he would be a friend to me. And he’d make an excellent father.

Chapter THIRTY-FIVE

John

Five days later

* * *

IthrewGinger’s leash to the coffee table, knocking over the basket and causing its contents to spill out all over the floor. I didn’t care. I didn’t bother to pick it up, and pulled my shirt over my head as I headed for the bathroom.

I needed a shower. To wash away this crap of a day and forget abouther,but I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop thinking about her because her name was everywhere. Because her fucking name wouldforever be stuck in the middle of each fucking week! For the rest of my life, I’d have to see it every time I looked at the fucking calendar.

I sat on the side of the bed, my body heavy with exhaustion as I began to unlace my boots. A knock sounded at the door, but I ignored it, wanting whoever it was to go away. I wasn’t in the mood for unexpected guests, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to be nice if I answered it. But the sound only came louder.

“Fucking shit.” I pulled off one boot, just as Ginger began to bark at the door. I pushed myself from the bed, Ginger’s bark increasing in volume, as I stormed down the hallway and yanked the door open.

Tuesday stood at the landing. She stepped back at the sight of me, her chest visibly rising and falling as she breathed. Ginger rushed out to greet her, sniffing and licking her hand like a week hadn’t gone by since she’d seen her last, but Tuesday never looked down. She only stood there, wearing overalls with one of my big flannel work shirts over the top, her face streaked from tears.

“You didn’t come,” she said after a moment. Her voice was low and winded, as if she had run the whole way here.

I looked to the ground and pulled in a breath. The sight of her was still too painful to bear. “You honestly expected me to?”

“You promised.”

I gripped my forehead, letting out a slight laugh that held no humor. “Well, a lot has changed since I made that promise.” I glanced up, but my eyes locked on her hands, fisted at her sides as though she was afraid of me. I hated it. I was mad as hell about what happened, but I hated every damn second of her fear. “What do you want, Tuesday?” I asked in the softest voice possible.

She didn’t answer.

I opened the door wider and stepped to the side to let her in. “Come in. You’re supposed to be resting.”

She shook her head, but her body became more rigid. “This will only take a second.” She looked down briefly. “Becky’s waiting for me in the parking lot.”

I rested my shoulders in the doorway and nodded. Her body was shaking so badly, I knew whatever she planned to say was hard for her, and I wanted to make it as easy as possible so she could go.

She wrapped her arms around her belly and met my eyes. “Thirteen weeks ago I got drunk at a party and woke up with a man in my bed. I was so drunk I don’t even remember a single thing we did that night. I’m not proud of it, but it happened. I never saw him again after that, but I knew who he was. He worked at Parker Studios with Becky.”

She took a deep breath then closed her eyes briefly before continuing. “I didn’t know it then, but I got pregnant that night—then a few weeks later construction began and everything was busy. I didn’t even notice when my period was different, but I had it, John. I swear.”

She was crying between each word, and my chest was heavy from the sound of it. I wanted to grab her and hold her, but I stayed where I was, needing to hear what she came to say.

“And then I metyou.”Her eyes lifted to mine. “I hated you at first… and I was pretty sure you hated me too. I never meant to fall in love with you—but I did. I never meant to get pregnant, but I did. And I found myself in a position of finally finding the love of my life, and discovering I was pregnant by a different man.”

She wiped at her eyes with the backs of her hands.

“I should have told you right away, but it was so hard. I know that’s a crappy excuse, but I convinced myself it would be easier once the job was over. Because then you could walk away like you deserved to do.” Her hand covered her mouth, muffling a sob. “I never meant for you to find out the way you did, and it’s killing me that you think things about me that aren’t true.”

I stepped toward her, wanting to hold her and take away her pain, but she held up her hand and stepped backward.

“I lied to you, and I shouldn’t have, but you lied to me too.”

I shook my head, looking into her eyes. “What did I lie to you about?”

“You lied about your scar. You didn’t tell me you were adopted.”

I gripped the back of my neck. “That’s hardly the same thing.”

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