Shelly turned her head away with a pout, sniffed loudly, and rubbed her nose on the leg of his jeans. I imagined myself in her situation, faced with another woman honing in on the man I loved. I think I would have felt the same, possibly even down to the nose bit.
“I thought I was your girlfriend,” she stated after a long pause.
“You’re my niece, baby girl.”
“Aaaaand your friend.”
“Yes. And my friend,” he agreed.
“Aaaannd a gull.”
He laughed. “And a girl.”
She giggled a little and squeezed his leg tighter. “I misseded you, Uncle John.”
He grinned. “I missed you too, Shelly.”
Someone pulled open the door, and one by one, we all entered the kitchen. The smell of warm cake and fresh cut strawberries hit my nose, making the already homey feel of the place feel even homier.
It was then that all my emotions hit me, and I had to turn away slightly to wipe the tears from my eyes. If this had come only a week earlier, I would have been elated… but now, it felt like a sick joke. A dangling carrot to someone who hadn’t eaten for a long time.
No one seemed to notice me crumbling, not even John, because I was only one person in more than a dozen. I’d just met them, but already I was part of this huge, boisterous family as they laughed and joked with each other in the kitchen.
Hugs spread from person to person, and I took the time to calm my heart. To breathe and settle in for the next few hours. This was exactly what I’d wanted my whole life. Siblings and cousins, grandparents and grandchildren; I’d dreamt of it all for as long as I could remember, and now I was here. But now there was a baby in my womb, and I knew I could only keep both for today. Because as sad as it was, only the baby would still be in my life tomorrow.
My hand fell to my belly, under the bib of my overalls so no one could see—I’d already made my choice. I just wished I could feel her, so I knew it was the right one.
My eyes locked on a pregnant woman who stood at the sink, wiping her hands on a gingham rag. I couldn’t help but be jealous of her because she had everything I wanted. When there was a break in the crowd, they came toward me, the tall brunette extending her hand with a warm smile. “Hi, I’m Katie Johnson, Jake’s wife,” she stated.
I looked into her eyes then down to her belly and shook my head. “I thought?”
“We’re out of the danger zone now.” She smiled and rested her hand on her stomach. “The placenta moved up and everything’s good to go. Four more weeks.”
I nodded, wishing for the hundredth time that things were different. She looked kind, and if things were different, maybe we could have been friends.
I swallowed back more tears and turned to a petite, blonde women who’d come to stand beside me.
“Lisa,” she said brightly. “John’s favorite sister.”
I smiled, my head swimming with all the names I’d learned in the past few minutes. I stuck out my hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”
John came to stand by my side, little Shelly hanging from his arm as he bent over to whisper in my ear. “The guys are all outside. Do you mind if I leave you?”
My eyes widened and I glanced over at him. He looked so happy, in his element, and I couldn’t stop myself from nodding. “Go ahead.”
* * *
Katie and Lisaboth stayed in the kitchen, talking to me as they assembled what had to have been the most mouth-watering strawberry shortcake I’d ever seen in my life. They asked where I was from, how John and I had met, and all the other typical questions that came when you met someone’s family for the first time.
Katie excused herself to the restroom when they were done, and Lisa gestured to a room on the other side of the house where it was quiet. “Follow me.”
We passed through the dining room, where older children sat at the large table playing Monopoly, and the smaller children were coloring on the floor. They barely looked up, barely noticed us, and my heart was pounding as if we were climbing a tall mountain.
I didn’t want to be here. Meeting his family, having them hug me, smile, and wrap me in warmth. I was already in love with John; I didn’t want to fall in love with his family, too.
We stopped at an oak bar in the living room, and Lisa gestured for me to take a seat as she walked behind it.
“We have beer, wine, or I can make you a margarita if you’d prefer.” She took a deep breath. “You’re going to need it. You’ve only met half of them so far.”