Page 65 of Waiting for Tuesday

These past days I tried to push it from my mind. To enjoy his love, which he gave freely and abundantly. We spent each day flirting in the shop, and each night wrapped in each other’s arms until we fell asleep. Tomorrow, we would go out on our date and I’d tell him. And I was pretty sure it would all end there.

Becky took out a large Kabuki brush and ran it over her client’s face to set the foundation, then nodded for me to take the seat as soon as the woman left. She wrapped the silky black drape around my shoulders and turned me around to face the mirror. “So what happened?”

My throat thickened, and I took a deep breath to push back the threatening tears. “He asked me to marry him.”

Her eyes widened, and her mouth fell open.

“Actually, he said ‘I’ll marry you’, which is different but means the same thing. He was nice. He said he believed the baby was a gift from heaven.” My chin began to quiver, and I pulled my glasses from my face.

“Oh, honey.” She handed me a tissue. “What did you say?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

There was a long pause before she spoke again. “Have you told John?”

I shook my head, my lip quivering again. “Tomorrow.”

She put down her brush then sat in the chair beside me. “Do you know what you’re going to say?”

My shoulders rose and fell as I took a big breath. “Not in the slightest.”

Chapter TWENTY-SEVEN

Tuesday

* * *

Itookin John’s reflection in the bathroom mirror, his bare chest, clean wet skin after our shower, and his still sleepy eyes as we brushed our teeth. It was something we’d done at least a dozen times over the past four weeks, but an act I tried to memorize now. The way his muscles shifted with each tiny movement of the brush, the way he looked right now with his hair damp, doing the simple things I wanted to do with him for the next fifty years. But today would be the last I’d see of those things. Because today I promised myself I would tell him.

Last night, the guys had finished all the last minute details of the shop then packed away every bit of their equipment. My shop was empty of any trace that he’d ever been there, but my heart would never be. It would be broken, shattered, but the pieces that remained would forever be filled with our days together.

My chest grew increasingly heavy as I watched him. I knew I should tell him about the baby. Right now. To not wait until later, to not spend another second deceiving him into loving me, because he deserved so much more.

He spit into the sink then rinsed his mouth with water before wrapping his arms around my waist. “I’m going to go back to my house to change. I’ll pick you up in an hour?”

The toothbrush was still my mouth, which gave me an excuse not to speak. I nodded, but the pit of my stomach was turning in disgust with my cowardice.

He smiled against my neck, kissing up to my ear and causing goose bumps to rise on every bit of my skin.

“Wear something comfortable,” he said in my ear, his mouth lingering on the patch of skin at the edge of my jaw. I closed my eyes to feel it better, inhaling the warm minty scent of his breath. “Panties optional,” he whispered.

I grinned in spite of my somber mood, rinsed my mouth, and wiped over my lips with a towel. “Where are we going?”

He shook his head, his eyes meeting mine in the mirror. “It’s a surprise.”

I swallowed, my tongue heavy with the words I needed to say, but I only nodded, allowing myself one more moment, one more goodbye, one more hello before it all ended.

* * *

True to his word, he picked me up an hour later. We sat quietly in the cab of his truck, watching out the windshield as the city came and went. Even though I still had no clue where we were going, I didn’t ask, because where we went didn’t matter anyway—we wouldn’t make it.

My secret rolled in my stomach, fighting a battle where I knew there could be no victory. Because part of me wanted to stuff it down and forget it even existed, and the other wanted it over with, to do it quickly so it would hurt less—but I couldn’t. He was my captive audience; there was nothing to distract him, but still, I said nothing.

I rested my head on the window and took a breath. The weather report had predicted rain, and the dark, ominous sky off in the horizon told me it was true. But for now, the sun was still shining bright and beautiful, causing a rainbow to peek out from the clouds. A prism of colors, a promise of better days. But for me, it would always represent the day I lost the love of my life.

John’s fingers wrapped around my hand, grabbing my attention. I looked up, meeting his soft smile.

“You okay?”

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