Page 58 of Rust and Stardust

“No!” Lucas reached for me, but I jerked away. “Beau, please. Yes, I came here with bad intentions, but what we have is real. I swear it.”

I shook my head, trying to process this betrayal. “How can I believe anything you say now?”

Lucas's voice was desperate. “Because I'm telling you the truth now, even though it might cost me everything. I couldn't keep lying to you. I... I love you, Beau.”

Those words, which should have made my heart soar, now felt like a knife twisting in my chest. I stared at Lucas, my mind reeling. The man I'd fallen for, the one who'd made me feel things I'd neverfelt before, had been lying to me this whole time. My chest tightened, making it hard to breathe.

“You love me?” I finally managed to choke out. “How can you say that after what you just told me?”

Lucas took a step towards me, his green eyes pleading. “Because it's true, Beau. I know I messed up, I know I hurt you, but my feelings for you are real.”

I backed away, shaking my head. “I don't know what to believe anymore. How do I know this isn't just another lie?”

“It's not, I swear,” Lucas said, his voice cracking. “I'll quit my job, I'll move here, I'll do whatever it takes to prove to you that I'm telling the truth.”

I closed my eyes, trying to steady my breathing. My mind was racing, emotions swirling like a tornado inside me. Part of me wanted to believe Lucas, to grab him and never let go. But the pain of his betrayal was too fresh, too raw. It cut me right down to my soul. For the first time in my life, I finally let myself have what I’d always wanted. And it had bitten me in the ass worse than anything I could ever imagine.

“I need time,” I said finally, my voice barely above a whisper. “I can't... I can't process all this right now.”

Lucas nodded, wiping at his tears. “I'm so sorry, Beau. I never meant to hurt you…”

“Yeah, well, you did,” I replied, my voice harsher than I intended. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. “Look, I think it's best if you leave. Go back to New York, or wherever. Just... just go.”

The pain in Lucas's eyes was palpable, but I couldn't bring myself to care. My own heart felt like it was being ripped apart.

“Beau, please...” Lucas reached for me again, but I stepped back.

“Don't,” I said, my voice low and dangerous. “Just don't.”

I turned and walked away, leaving Lucas standing alone in the shadows behind the barn. My boots kicked up dust as I strode across the fairgrounds, barely noticing the lingering crowds or the cheerful carnival music. Everything felt hollow now.

I made it to my truck and climbed in, throwing my hat in fury at the passenger seat where I wished Lucas was sitting. I gripped the steering wheel so tight my knuckles turned white. The engine roared to life, and I peeled out of the parking lot, not caring who I startled.

As I drove, the familiar country roads blurred past, my mind a jumble of emotions. Anger, betrayal, heartbreak - they all churned inside me like a violent storm. The taste of Lucas's kiss still lingered on my lips, now bitter and tainted by his lies.

I found myself pulling off onto a secluded dirt road, one I'd driven down countless times when I needed to clear my head. The truck came to a stop in a clearing overlooking the rolling hills of Sagebrush. In the moonlight, the prairie grass swayed gently, oblivious to the turmoil raging inside me.

I got out, slamming the door harder than necessary, and leaned against the hood. The cool metal against my back was grounding, reminding me that this wasn't some horrible nightmare. This was real.

“Goddammit!” I yelled into the night sky full of stars that reminded me so much of his eyes now.

And then I sank down into the grass, pulling my knees tight to my chest. My heart was broken. More than I thought possible. I’d come so close to happiness, even tasted it for a while. And now all that potential was dead inside me. I leaned forward, tears streaming down my face.

At least, out here alone under the endless Texas night, nobody could see a cowboy cry.

Chapter 24

Lucas

The bell overhead jingled as I walked into Dolly’s diner. To my surprise, the place was almost entirely empty. Usually, at that time of the morning, the diner was at its busiest. But then again, it was the day after the fair had ended. Maybe they were all sleeping in. Either way, there were still a couple of full tables and one or two figures up at the bar where Dolly was pouring coffee. The moment she saw me her smile widened, and she beckoned me over with those long red acrylic nails of hers.

“Hey there sugar!” she smiled, patting the counter for me to take a seat. “Let me get you a cup of coffee.”

“I can’t stay long, Dolly,” I replied, my voice hoarse. I didn’t sleep much the night before after everything fell apart with Beau. “I just came to say goodbye.”

“Goodbye? You leavin’ already?”

I nodded, swallowing hard against the lump in my throat. “Yeah, it's time for me to get back home.”

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