Page 41 of Rust and Stardust

But both were gone. All that was left was a cloud of dust heading north.

I didn't hesitate. I sprinted to my rusty old truck, fumbling with the keys as I climbed in. The engine roared to life, and I peeled out of the parking lot, gravel crunching under my tires. My hands gripped the steering wheel so tight my knuckles turned white as I sped down the road, following the trail of dust.

My mind raced faster than my truck. How could I have been so blind? All this time, I'd been pushing down my feelings, convinced they were one-sided. But now, knowing Lucas felt the same way... It was like a dam had burst inside me, and all those pent-up emotions came flooding out.

I spotted his rental car in the distance, its taillights glowing redin the darkness. My heart leaped into my throat. “Come on, come on,” I muttered, pressing down harder on the gas pedal.

The old truck groaned in protest as I pushed it to its limits, the speedometer creeping past eighty. The gap between us was closing, but not fast enough. I could see Lucas's rental car swerving slightly on the road ahead, and my heart clenched with worry. Was he crying? The thought of him upset because of me made my chest ache.

“Lucas!” I shouted, even though I knew he couldn't hear me. I honked my horn repeatedly, flashing my headlights in a desperate attempt to get his attention.

Finally, his brake lights flared red, and the rental car slowed, pulling over to the side of the road well outside of town. I stomped on my brakes, sending up a cloud of dust as I skidded to a stop behind him. My hands were shaking as I fumbled with the door handle, nearly falling out of the truck in my haste.

Lucas was already out of his car, standing in the beams of my headlights. His face was a mix of confusion and something else - hope, maybe? I flipped my lights off as my heart hammered in my chest. I approached him, my boots kicking up little puffs of dust with each step.

“Beau?” he called out, his voice rough with emotion. It sounded like he’d been crying. “What are you doing here?”

I stopped a few feet away from him, suddenly unsure of what to say. All the words I'd rehearsed in my head on the drive over seemed to evaporate. I swallowed hard, trying to find my voice.

“I... I couldn't let you leave like that,” I finally managed, my Texas drawl thicker than usual with nerves. “Not without telling you...”

Lucas took a step closer, his green eyes searching my face. “Telling me what?”

“I... I'm an idiot,” I blurted out. “Lucas, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize... I thought...”

He took a step closer, his green eyes searching my face. “Thought what, Beau?”

I swallowed hard, forcing myself to meet his gaze. “I thought you couldn't possibly feel the same way about me as I did about you. That you’d never want anything to do with a backwater cowboy like me that’s got nothing to offer you…” I took a deep breath. “I’m nothing but dirt roads and rusty pickups,” I said, scuffing my boots on the ground. I looked up at Lucas, his sparkling green eyes catching mine. “And you’re clean, shiny, and your eyes… they look like they’re full of stardust. What could I ever offer you that would entice you to stay? To give up everything you love?”

Lucas's eyes softened, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He closed the distance between us, reaching out to take my calloused hand in his.

“Beau,” he said softly, his voice filled with warmth. “You're not just dirt roads and rusty pickups. You're... you're wide-open skies and endless possibilities. You're strength and kindness wrapped up in one gorgeous package.”

My breath caught in my throat as he continued, his thumb tracing circles on the back of my hand. I watched as something inside him gave way, his true feelings released at last as the tears continued down his cheeks.

“And those things I love back in New York? They're nothing compared to what I feel for you. The city lights can't hold a candle to the stars in your eyes.”

I felt my cheeks flush, unused to such open admiration. “But your life, your career...”

Lucas shook his head, cutting me off. “My life feels more real here than it ever has anywhere else.” Suddenly he was pressed up against me, his warmth seeping through my clothing. “I want you so bad cowboy… but I just… I can’t…”

I stared into those green eyes, my chest tight with anxiety. “What if…” I cleared my throat, giving me a moment to find my courage. “What if I asked you to stay? Would that help?”

Lucas let out a choked sob that turned into a laugh, his mouthnever curling into a smile. “You don’t want me, Beau. I’m… I’m not the guy you think I am.”

I felt my heart clench at Lucas's words. “What do you mean?” I asked softly, my hand instinctively reaching out to cup his cheek. “Lucas, I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I want you. All of you. No matter what.”

He leaned into my touch, his eyes closing briefly before meeting mine again. “Beau, I... I've been hiding things. From you, from everyone. My life in New York, it's not what you think. I'm not some hotshot marketing executive. I'm... I’m not a good guy.”

I felt a flicker of uncertainty, but I pushed it aside. Whatever Lucas was running from, we could face it together. “Tell me,” I urged gently. “Whatever it is, we'll figure it out.”

Lucas took a shaky breath, his head shaking. “I wish I could. But I can’t… and I can’t stay here in Sagebrush with you either. Once you know the truth, you won’t want me anyway.”

“Nothing could make me not want you,” I replied, my tone firm as I wrapped my arms around him. I pulled him in close, pressing a passionate kiss to his lips. “Do you think I could kiss you like that if I didn’t want you?”

“Beau…” he whispered, pressing his forehead to mine. “I want you so bad…”

“Then have me,” I said, pulling him closer. “Take whatever you want from me.” I reached down tipping his chin up so we were eye to eye. “I’m yours, Lucas. Even if you decide you can’t stay, I want to be yours.” I kissed him once more. “Just because a dream will end doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it while it’s happenin’.”

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