Page 40 of Rust and Stardust

I squeezed Beau's hand, hoping to offer some comfort. “She's right, you know,” I said softly. “You shouldn't have to hide who you are.”

Beau turned to look at me, his blue eyes searching mine. For a moment, I saw a flicker of hope there, quickly replaced by fear and uncertainty.

“It ain't that simple,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “This town... it's all I've ever known. The ranch has been in my family for generations. I can't just...”

He trailed off, looking down at our intertwined hands. I couldfeel the slight tremor in his fingers, the weight of his internal struggle.

Dolly reached across the counter, placing her weathered hand on top of ours. “Now listen here, Beau Turner. You're one of the best men I know in this town. Hardworking, kind, always willing to lend a hand. If anyone has a problem with who you love, well, they'll have to answer to me and probably a fair few other people too.”

Beau’s gaze didn’t lift to Dolly. Instead, he looked at me. “And… well… after the fair is over… you’re leavin’. You’ve got that job and that big city to go home to. I can’t leave Sagebrush,” he said, his eyes looking like they were on the verge of tears. “This is my home. But I can’t ask you to stay either. That’s just… it’s not right.”

I sat there for a long moment, reeling from the realization that I’d just made. It seemed, quite without meaning to, I’d managed to not only get this cowboy out of his shell, but also somehow made him start falling in love with me. People didn’t say things like that when they were just interested in sex. Beau, it seemed, wanted a lot more from me. Unfortunately, for different reasons, both of us knew it could never be.

“I… I don’t know what to say, Beau,” I replied at last. “I like you and this town is fine but… well… I’ve spent so much time building a life in New York…”

“I know,” he nodded, pulling his hand away from mine. The loss made my heart sink. “That’s why I can’t ask you to stay. Or to sit here in this dusty town and wait around for me to grow a pair and tell everyone who and what I am. Hell, I don’t know if I’ll ever be that brave.”

“Beau… I…” I froze up, catching myself on the verge of telling him the truth about everything once more. But just as the words formed on my lips, I forced them away. “I need to go,” I said, getting up from my chair.

“What about the pies, sugar?” Dolly said, her brows furrowed.

“I… I’m sorry.”

I only glanced back at Beau, the hurt in his eyes cutting me to thecore. But I couldn’t let them see me break down, couldn’t let them know how much of a raging asshole I was. Instead, I ran out of there as fast as I could, hot tears falling down my cheeks the moment I was in my car.

I had to get out of Sagebrush. If I stayed any longer, I didn’t think I’d survive.

So, throwing my rental car into gear, I started driving north, too lost in my own thoughts to know where I was going or what I was going to do when I got there.

Chapter 17

Beau

Dolly stared at me from the other side of the counter, her acrylic nails drumming on the wood dangerously.

“You gonna go after him?” she asked, a hint of irritation in her voice.

“He… he seemed like he wanted to be alone,” I replied, feeling more stupid by the moment.

Dolly let out a long sigh. “Darlin’, you can’t tell me you don’t know what’s goin’ on.”

I shook my head. I really didn’t understand. I knew I had some pretty intense feelings about Lucas, but I also knew they would never come to fruition. No matter how badly I wanted him to stay, it just wasn’t going to happen. So, I saw no point in getting myself worked up over something I couldn’t have.

“That boy is in love with you,” she said, pointing toward the door that Lucas had just stormed out of. “And he is strugglin’ with that. And you’ve got the nerve to sit over here and tell him you’re never gonna ask him to stay? You just broke that poor boy’s heart.”

My stomach twisted into a tight knot. “I… I did?”

“Yes, you dummy!” she screeched. “Now get the lead out and go after him before I call Mabel and tell her what you did!”

I was on my feet in an instant. Dolly was scary enough, but Mabel, the woman who’d raised me, was downright terrifying when she was mad. I’d only seen it once or twice in my life and I never wanted to be on the receiving end of her ire.

However, before I could get far, I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Beau,” Dolly said, her voice firm. “I’m gonna give you some unsolicited advice.” She held up one red talon, pointing it directly in my face. “Don’t you dare let fear stop you from following your heart, you hear me? Love isn’t just something that comes along every couple of months. Don’t waste this opportunity because you’re scared of what people might say. Their words ain’t worth your happiness, ya hear?”

I nodded. “Yes ma’am.”

“Good,” she said, letting go of me. “Now get the hell out of here and don’t come back unless you have that boy on your arm!”

I didn’t need to be told twice. I burst out of the diner, my heart pounding in my chest. The sun had already set, casting the entire world in darkness. The moon and stars twinkled above, lending some light to the scene at least. I scanned the area, desperately searching for any sign of Lucas and his rental car.

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