Page 67 of Rust and Stardust

Lucas stepped to the side, ushering me in.

Chapter 28

Lucas

Istepped aside, gesturing for Beau to come inside. My breath caught in my throat as his boots clunked against my hard vinyl floor and my stomach twisted as he pulled his cowboy hat off and ran his hands through his disheveled blond hair. Those piercing blue eyes avoided my gaze as he fidgeted with the brim of his hat. And no matter how much I stared, I couldn’t believe my cowboy was here in New York, in my apartment of all places. I just didn’t know why.

“Can I… uh… get you anything to drink?” I asked, shutting the door behind him.

“Nah, I'm alright,” Beau drawled, his Texas drawl thick in the air of my cramped city apartment. He glanced around, taking in the stark contrast between my urban dwelling and the wide-open spaces of Sagebrush he was used to.

I couldn't help but drink in the sight of him. His sun-kissed skin seemed to glow even in the dim light of my living room, and the scent of leather and prairie grass clung to him like a second skin. It hurt my heart to have him so close and know that he probably still despised me. I still couldn’t figure out why he’d come to New York. Probably to tell me off one last time for being such an asshole.

“So, uh... what brings you all the way out here?” I ventured, trying to keep my voice steady.

Beau's eyes finally met mine, a storm of emotions swirling in those azure depths. He took a deep breath, his broad chest expanding beneath his plaid shirt.

“I couldn't stay away,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

The words hung in the air between us, heavy with unspoken meaning. My heart raced, hope and fear warring within me. I took a hesitant step closer, hardly daring to breathe.

“What do you mean, Beau?” I asked, my voice trembling.

He swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “I... I've been thinkin' about you. Ever since you left Sagebrush. Couldn't get you outta my head, no matter how hard I tried.”

His eyes flickered down to my lips, then back up to meet my gaze. The intensity there made my knees weak.

“I know I said some harsh things when you left,” he continued, his voice thickening with emotion. “But I was hurt, and scared, and... well, I reckon I've had time to sort through a little bit of it. I’m still upset but I think I know what I need to say to you.”

I held my breath, my heart pounding so hard I was sure Beau could hear it. The air between us crackled with tension as I waited for him to continue. His blue eyes searched mine, as if looking for the courage to speak.

“I...” Beau started, then stopped, running a hand through his hair again. “Dammit, I ain't good with words. Never have been.”

He took a step closer, close enough that I could feel the heat radiating off his body. The scent of him - leather, hay, and something uniquely him - enveloped me, making my head spin. I wanted to reach out, to touch him, to ask him to consume me with his kiss. But I kept silent, waiting for him to say what he needed to say.

“I miss you,” he finally said, his voice low and raspy. “I miss you somethin' fierce, and I can't stand it anymore. I tried toforget you, tried to convince myself it was just a fling, that I didn’t matter to you, but...”

His hand reached out, rough fingers grazing my cheek. The touch sent electricity coursing through me, and I couldn't help but lean into it.

“But?” I prompted, my voice barely above a whisper.

Beau's eyes locked onto mine, vulnerability and desire warring in their depths. “But I can't. I can't forget you. I can't stop thinkin' about you. About us. And I’m sorry about what I said… I was… well, I didn’t mean it. I want you back in Sagebrush with me as my… my boyfriend.”

My heart thundered in my chest as he stepped even closer, his body nearly pressed against mine. I was overwhelmed to have him so close, the hope surging through me so hard I thought I might pass out. Did he really mean it? Was he ready for that sort of thing? I wasn’t sure, but I knew I wanted it so bad I could taste it.

“I’m sorry, Beau,” I said, unable to look him in the eye. “I was such an asshole to you… I shouldn’t have lied. It was wrong and you shouldn’t have to forgive me for that. You put everything on the line for me and I?—”

He reached up his hand, pressing his fingers to my lips to silence me. “Shh,” Beau murmured, his fingers still pressed gently against my lips. “I know. And I ain't sayin' it's all forgiven and forgotten. But I've done some thinkin', and I reckon we both made mistakes.”

His hand dropped from my mouth, trailing down to rest on my shoulder. The warmth of his touch seeped through my shirt, making my skin tingle. My stomach did a little backflip as I moved my hand to his hip.

“I was scared,” he continued, his voice low and husky. “Scared of what people would think, scared of losin' the ranch, scared of... of how much I felt for you. So, I pushed you away. And when you left, I realized that losin' you was worse than any of those other fears. Even worse than losin’ my barbecue recipe to some big company.” He laughed, shaking his head. “Actually, the recipe was the least of myworries after you left. You’re more important to me than anything else.”

My breath caught in my throat as Beau's other hand came up to cup my face. His calloused thumb brushed gently across my cheek, sending shivers down my spine. I leaned into his touch, savoring the feeling of him against me once more.

“Beau,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “I... I don't know what to say. I never thought you'd forgive me, let alone come all this way...”

He smiled softly, a hint of that shy, quiet cowboy I'd fallen for peeking through. “Well, I reckon sometimes a man's gotta take a risk for what he wants. And what I want... is you.”

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