Page 61 of Rust and Stardust

Chapter 25

Beau

Willow shifted beneath me as we stood at the top of the hill overlooking my private paradise at the back of the ranch. I’d been there nearly all morning just staring at the scenery and she was getting restless. I leaned forward in the saddle, resting my head against her neck.

“Sorry old girl,” I muttered, holding her tight. “I’m just… I’m not ready to go back just yet.”

The old mare didn’t fight or try to head for home. Instead, she just gave a soft huff and stood there, knowing I needed just a little more time to myself. She was the only friend I had in the world that wasn’t going to ask me questions or try to make me feel better. She was just there, a warm steady presence rooting me to the ground when all I felt like doing was fading away into nothing.

Goddammit my heart hurt.

I closed my eyes, inhaling the scent of leather and horse sweat, trying to push away the ache in my chest. The warm Texas breeze ruffled my hair, carrying with it the sweet scent of sagebrush and prairie grass. It should have been comforting, but it only reminded me of him.

Lucas.

His name echoed in my mind, bringing with it a flood of memories. The way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, how his soft city boy hands felt against my skin, the sound of his sweet voice whispering in my ear as he lay beneath me in the tall grass. It had all seemed so perfect, so right. Until it wasn't.

Willow shifted again, this time turning her head to nuzzle my boot. I knew she was trying to comfort me in her own way, and I appreciated it more than she could ever know. I patted her neck, feeling the rough texture of her mane beneath my calloused fingers. I took a deep breath, steeling myself for the inevitable return to the ranch house. There would be so many questions and I just wasn’t ready to answer them yet. But I couldn’t stay out on the prairie forever.

“Alright, girl,” I murmured, straightening up in the saddle. “Let's head back.”

As we began our descent down the hill, the sun beating down on my shoulders, I couldn't help but replay the events of the past few weeks in my mind. Lucas had swept into my life like a whirlwind, all charm and city-slicker swagger. At first, I'd been annoyed by his presence, but somehow, he'd wormed his way under my skin.

I remembered the night everything changed, when Daisy took off and I had to rescue Lucas. The way he’d clung to me after I pulled him down and the way he kissed me… it was like I’d woken up for the first time. And even with all the fear I had in my heart about admitting who I really was, I couldn’t push him away. Once I had him the first time, I couldn’t get enough. And now, just when I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, he turned out to be a liar and crook.

And, most importantly, he was gone. Forever.

Willow's hooves crunched against the dry earth as we made our way back to the ranch. The rhythmic sound was soothing, almost hypnotic, and I found myself lost in thought once more.

I couldn't shake the image of Lucas's face when I told him toleave and never come back. The shock, the guilt, and then the desperation in his eyes as he tried to explain. But how could he explain away the fact that he'd been lying to me from the start? That his whole presence here had been nothing but a ruse to steal prize winning recipes from honest and hardworking folks including me?

The worst part was, I still loved him. Even now, knowing what I knew, I couldn't stop my heart from aching for him. And it tore me up.

As we approached the ranch house, I saw a figure on the porch. My stomach clenched for a moment, thinking it might be him. But as we got closer, I saw it was Mabel. There was a look in her eye that I knew all too well. She wanted to talk and if there was one person in the world I couldn’t say no to, it was her. No matter how much I was hurting, it would have to come out. Like poison from a wound, she’d say.

I dismounted Willow, patting her flank as I led her to the barn. Mabel watched me silently from the porch, her eyes following my every move. I took my time unsaddling Willow, brushing her down with slow, deliberate strokes. It was a futile attempt to delay the inevitable, but I couldn't help myself.

Finally, I had no choice but to face Mabel. I trudged up the porch steps, my boots heavy on the weathered wood. She didn't say a word, just opened the screen door and motioned for me to follow her inside.

The familiar scent of cinnamon and coffee washed over me as I entered the kitchen. Mabel busied herself at the stove, pouring two steaming mugs of coffee despite the heat of the afternoon. I slumped into a chair at the kitchen table, my body suddenly feeling every bit of the emotional turmoil from the past few days. All I wanted to do was sleep until it was all lost to the sands of time.

Mabel set a mug in front of me, the rich aroma of fresh coffee filling my nostrils. She took a seat across from me, her weathered hands wrapping around her own mug. For a long moment, we sat in silence, the only sound the gentle ticking of the old clock on the wall.

“You want to talk about it, Beau?” Mabel finally asked, her voice soft and motherly.

I stared into my coffee, watching the steam rise in lazy curls. “Not really,” I mumbled, but I knew it was pointless. Mabel had a way of getting things out of me, whether I wanted to share or not.

She reached across the table, her hand covering mine. “That city boy did a number on you, didn't he?”

I felt my throat tighten, tears threatening to spill once more. All I could do was nod, knowing if I spoke that I’d lose what little control I had left.

Mabel squeezed my hand gently, her touch as comforting as it had been when I was a boy. “Oh, honey,” she sighed, her voice filled with sympathy. “I know it hurts. But you can't keep it all bottled up inside. It'll eat you alive if you do.”

I took a shaky breath, finally looking up to meet her kind eyes. “I thought... I thought he was different, Mabel. I thought he really cared about me.”

“Maybe he did, Beau,” she said softly. “People are complicated. Sometimes they do foolish things, even when their hearts are in the right place.”

I shook my head, anger flaring up alongside the pain. “He lied to me. Everything was a lie. He was just here to steal from us, from everyone in Sagebrush.”

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