Page 49 of Rust and Stardust

I chuckled, nipping at his lower lip. “Maybe. But also...” I took a deep breath, steeling myself. “I wanted to talk. About us. About how we can make this work.”

Lucas broke into a wide smile, but a moment later it faded. Suddenly he looked like he was being torn apart by something, some internal struggle that I didn’t understand.

“Are you alright?” I asked, reaching up and cupping his cheek.

Lucas leaned into my touch, his eyes closing for a moment before he met my gaze again. “I... I think I just need some time to think Beau.” He kissed me again. “And you need to focus on the competition right now. Once that’s over… then we can talk.”

“Okay,” I smiled, realizing Lucas was asking for some space so he could figure things out too. “In that case, why don’t we spend a little time here,” I gave him a wink. “Then after that, you can help me prep for the competition tomorrow.”

“You want me to help you cook?” Lucas asked, his voice full of surprise. “But it's your big secret, you claim to fame around here.”

“Yeah. And I want to share it with you.” I leaned in, pulling him into a tight hug. “I trust you more than anyone else Lucas.”

I felt his breath catch as I held him. Part of me wanted to say more, to tell him I loved him again. Of course, I remembered that I’d whispered it to him the night before. But considering he’d asked for some space to think and hadn’t said it back to me yet, I figured he just wasn’t ready yet. And that was okay. I could wait. In fact, I’d wait however long it took because I did love that city boy, and nothing would ever change that.

Chapter 20

Lucas

Despite my guilt, I couldn’t say no to a morning of fooling around under the big Texas sky with Beau. Now that his family knew, it seemed a waste not to. We tethered up the horses and went down by the creek. What started as some light splashing turned into skinny dipping, which of course became fucking in the tall grass with nothing but the wind and sun on our backs. By the time we actually made it back to the house, it was starting to get late in the afternoon. However, Beau said that was perfect.

“Even though the key to smoking is low heat and a long cook time, I don’t want to leave it in too long. But since the competition is in the morning, I’ll need to cook it overnight to make sure it’s ready for the judges.”

I nodded, as if I understood anything he was saying. Working at a food company had taught me almost nothing about actual food or cooking. But I trusted Beau to know what he was talking about. Anything he said got memorized and stored in my brain for later when I could finally write everything down.

God… I couldn’t believe I was still going through with that insane plan. But I couldn’t let Logan down. He and I both understood what was at stake. We needed our jobs. And if one of the biggest companies in New York fired us for not doing our jobs, no matter how shady, we’d never work in that town again. If I lost that apartment, I’d have nowhere to go. At least Logan could go home to Sagebrush. But I had nothing.

Conflicting thoughts were flying through my mind as I helped Beau load the smoker with wood and get it going. He glanced at me several times, always shooting me one of those sweet smiles of his. It made my heart melt each and every time. But there was also a pang of guilt that followed quickly behind. By the time the fire was going, Beau was pulling out an extra-large brisket, one he’d been prepping for a couple of days. He told me all about the preparation process and the dry rub to make the meat extra tender. However, it wasn’t until he had it wrapped up and in the smoker that he finally turned to me.

“What’s goin’ on with you today?” he asked, tipping his hat up as he cocked his head to the side. “You look like you’ve got somethin’ on your mind.”

I swallowed hard, trying to push down the lump in my throat. Beau's piercing blue eyes were fixed on me, concern etched across his handsome features. I wanted to tell him everything - about Logan, about the company, about the real reason I was here. But I couldn't bring myself to shatter this perfect moment, to risk losing the warmth of his gaze.

“It's nothin',” I lied, forcing a smile. “Just nervous about the competition tomorrow, I guess.”

Beau's expression softened, and he stepped closer, placing a calloused hand on my cheek. The touch sent shivers down my spine.

“You ain’t gotta lie to me darlin’,” he drawled, his voice low and reassuring. “I’m gonna win the competition. Somethin’ else has been botherin’ you though.”

I leaned into his touch, closing my eyes and savoring the heat of his hand against my cheek. I wanted to tell him everything, to lay it all out for him and just get it all over with.

“It… It’s just that… well, after this competition is over… I have to go home.” They were some of the hardest words I’d ever said, my heart nearly breaking from the effort. “My flight is the morning after. That means… well, we don’t have much time left.”

Beau just stood there, holding me and trying to lend his support in his own quiet way.

“I’ve thought about quitting my job,” I said with a shuddering laugh. “But I can’t do that. If I lose that apartment, I’ll have nowhere to go.”

“Your family wouldn’t take you in?” he asked, his blue eyes searching mine. “You can always count on family, right?”

Bitter laughter escaped my throat. “I haven’t been welcome in that house in years. They’d sooner toss me out in the snow.” I glanced up at him, shaking my head. “I don’t have a family or a home like you do Beau. There’s nothing back there waiting for me. I’m… I’m on my own.”

His brows furrowed in concern. “Well, then I guess you’ll just have to come live here.”

My heart leaped in my chest, anxiety and excitement pulsing through my system. “I… I can’t do that, Beau! You hardly know me! Besides, you’ve got a full house already and I don’t want to get in the way or cause you any duress. I know you don’t want to come out to everyone in town just yet and I’ve already messed up everything at home for you and?—”

Beau held up a hand, cutting me off before I could rattle on any further. “Lucas,” he said softly. “I’d be more than happy to have you here. And I’d walk through town every single day with you if it only meant I could hold your hand.” Both hands came to my cheeks, pulling his forehead against mine as he spoke. His cowboy hat tipped up, resting against my hair. “I know we haven’t known each other long… but I know… I know I…”

He paused, clenching his eyes closed as if he were holding back tears.

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