Page 34 of Surviving Her

When River returned, the knife glinting in the dim light, a cold dread settled over Eliza. She took the knife, her hand trembling as she approached Thomas’s side.

“You can do this,” River whispered, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll hold him down.”

Eliza nodded, though her mouth was dry. She gripped the knife as tightly as she could.

For a moment, the world narrowed to just the two of them—Eliza and Thomas—and the sound of his breathing, faint and ragged. Her vision blurred as she positioned the blade just above the infected tissue.

“I’ve done this a thousand times before. Why am I so scared? Okay. Here goes nothing,” she muttered, quiet enough that River couldn’t hear.

She pressed the knife against the edge of the infected tissue, and Thomas jerked violently beneath her touch. His body spasmed, his head twisting to the side as a low moan escaped his lips.

“Hold him still,” Eliza hissed. “I can’t have him thrashing around like that. I don’t have anything to anesthetize him with, so pin him down.”

River leaned down, pressing her weight against her father’s shoulders, holding him steady as Eliza continued cutting. Each slice felt like it was cutting through rotten meat. Blood and pus seeped from the wound and the stench of infection was unbearable, but Eliza didn’t stop.

Thomas groaned again, louder this time, his eyelids fluttering as if he was on the verge of waking up. His body trembled beneath their hands. Eliza became more and more fearful with every sound that escaped his lips, but she steeled herself, forcing herself to keep working. She couldn’t let her emotions cloud her judgment. Not now.

“You almost done?” River whispered from across the bed. Her voice strained as she fought to keep Thomas still. Her knuckles were white as she gripped his shoulders. “You’ve got this. Just a little more.”

Eliza nodded, though she had no words of comfort for River. Her vision blurred with unshed tears as she focused on therotting flesh she was slowly carving away. It felt like time had slowed to a crawl, each second stretching into an eternity. The cabin was deathly silent, save for Thomas’s labored breathing and the occasional rustle of movement as River adjusted her grip.

Finally, Eliza removed the last piece of dead tissue and dropped the knife onto the floor. Her hands were covered in thick, jelly-like blood. She reached for the bottle of antiseptic and poured the liquid over the wound, watching as it bubbled and hissed, cleansing the raw flesh beneath.

Thomas arched his back as the antiseptic burned through him. Eliza flinched, guilt stabbing at her heart, but she forced herself to keep pouring. She grabbed the clean bandages from the table and wrapped them tightly around his leg, sealing the wound as best as she could.

When she was finally done, she sat back on her heels, adrenaline coursing through her veins. She felt as though she might collapse right there on the floor.

River slowly released her grip on Thomas and sank to a seat beside him, her face drawn. She reached for Eliza’s hand and squeezed it tightly. “You did it, you fucking did it!” she whispered, her voice thick with relief. “He’s still with us.”

Eliza stared down at Thomas. He looked so fragile, so close to the edge of death, and Eliza couldn’t shake the fear that they hadn’t done enough. That despite everything, they were still going to lose him.

“Is it going to be enough?” River’s voice trembled as she looked up at Eliza, clearly desperate for some reassurance.

“I don’t know,” Eliza admitted quietly. “I did what I could for now. I’m going to have to set the bone soon, or the leg will be permanently damaged. But he has to be in a fit state before I operate. And I need sterile conditions…or as close as I can get.”

“But…” River whispered. “Say we manage that, and you fix his leg. He’ll be fine after that, won’t he? He’ll be normal?”

“Things will never go back to normal, sweetheart,” Eliza replied sadly. “He could have suffered brain damage. The infection could cause sepsis. We don’t know anything yet. It looks like he’s had a serious head trauma. We might find he has convulsions now, or seizures. I don’t want to make any promises I can’t keep. He needs antibiotics, rest, and monitoring to start.”

“I do,” River stated, her eyes glazed over. “I want you to make promises you might not be able to keep. Make them, Eliza. For me.”

Eliza stared at River, the weight of her words sinking in like a heavy stone. The room felt smaller and tighter, and the distance between them was more than physical.

“I can’t do that, River. You know I can’t. I will always be honest with you, like I would be with anyone I care for, or treated at work. I will never lie to you.”

River’s hands clenched at her sides as she started pacing, each step quick and restless. “I need him, Eliza. He’s the only person in the world who means anything to me.”

Eliza stood still, the statement landing with a cold, brutal finality. “What?” she asked, the quiet in her voice sharper than any shout. “Do I not mean anything to you now that you’ve gotten the help you wanted?”

River looked at her, guilt flashing briefly in her eyes, only to be replaced by a guarded expression. “It’s not like that, Eliza. You don’t understand. He’s my father. I can’t just…I can’t let him die. You don’t know what that would do to me.”

Eliza felt the room shift, her thoughts swirling with the sharp sting of River’s words. “And what do you think this is doing to me?” she asked, her gaze fixed on a point just past River, refusing to meet her eyes. “I said I love you, River. I thoughtwe were in this together. But right now, it feels like I’m just…nothing. I’m just your doctor, right?”

River’s lips parted as if to respond, but no words came. Eliza turned away, her mind spinning, trying to grasp the reality of what she’d just heard.

“I thought we mattered,” she whispered, the quiet of the room suddenly overwhelming. Eliza’s heart felt heavy with uncertainty. She glanced out the window, where the last traces of daylight had faded completely, leaving the world outside shrouded in darkness. “Anyway, I think he’ll make it through the night,” she said in a voice just above a whisper.

River didn’t answer right away. She stared down at her father. Her lips pressed into a thin line, as if she was weighing her words carefully. Finally, she looked up at Eliza, her expression grim. “You need to do better than that. We’ll keep watch and do whatever we can.”

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