Page 2 of Winter Love

Lukas told me how his parents were high school sweethearts and had never dated anyone but each other. My parents were college sweethearts. So I watched them growing up. That’s the kind of love that I want. And I know I had that with Lukas. Every time I see his name pop up on my phone, I get excited. He’s the first person I want to tell whenever something happens in my life. But three years ago we decided that the long-distance thing was too much. We loved each other but we just couldn’t get things to line up. I’ve regretted that decision every day.

Next weekend the Vandenberg’s are having a five-year memorial for their parents and the other three that were lost that day. Felicity was telling me that they’re planning to have it at the resort. She asked if I wanted to come up for it. What would that say to Lukas? What if he brings someone to the memorial? I don’t think I could deal with that. I know he’s dated, I’ve dated too. But to see him with someone permanently isn’t something I can deal with.

Felicity: Hey! Have you decided if you’re coming to the memorial?

Emmanuelle: I don’t think it’s a good idea

Felicity: Of course it’s a good idea. It’s for my parents. And besides, you and Lukas are being stupid. You love each other and you’re supposed to be together. I know there are issues, but you need to fix things. TOGETHER

Emmanuelle: I don’t know…

Felicity: Do you love my brother?

Emmanuelle: You know I do

Felicity: Then let’s fix this. My parents would want you to

I chuckle at Felicity’s messages. She’s always said that she thinks we made a mistake when we broke up. And while I agree with her, I don’t know how to fix it. If we knew that, we never would’ve agreed to stop seeing each other. I miss him so fucking much. He’s the first person I think of when I get up and the last when I go to sleep.

Emmanuelle: Okay. I’ll come to the memorial. Are you sure Lukas is okay with me being there?

Felicity: Lukas misses you just as much as you miss him

Emmanuelle: Has he been seeing anyone?

Felicity: Nothing serious. And even then, I don’t think he’s gone out with anyone for a while now. Kind of like you. It’s a way to pass the time, but it’s never the person that either of you should be with

Emmanuelle: SIGH. I miss him

Felicity: I know you do and that’s why you two have to figure this out. There has to be a way

Emmanuelle: I do have an idea, but I need to know where Lukas stands on ‘us.’ And if he wants to try again

Felicity: DID YOU JUST SAY TRY AGAIN?

Emmanuelle: LOL. It depends of if Lukas and I can figure it out. I’ll see you on Friday. Don’t tell Lukas, I want to surprise him

Felicity: YOU’RE GETTING BACK TOGETHER!

I laugh at how excited Lissy is. I remember when I met her, she was sixteen and I went with Lukas to tell her and their brothers about their parents. I can still hear the wail she let out when Lukas told her. And it still breaks my heart. After Lukasand I broke up, I promised Lissy that I would always be there for her. She’s become an important part of my life and I love seeing the woman she’s grown into.

I’m excited and nervous about going back to Wintervale next weekend. I’m happy to be there to be with the family. But scared that maybe Lukas won’t want me there. I guess we’ll see how it works out.

Chapter Two

Lukas

As the weekend gets closer, I miss my parents more. I wish they were here to help me navigate this life. Sometimes I feel like I’m failing my siblings. I don’t always know how to help them when they need it. My siblings and I are all a year apart. So it felt weird having to take over as a parent figure when I had to.

When I met Emmanuelle, it felt so natural having her in our family. She was my equal in every way and she helped all of us deal with our sorrow. I know that she’s kept in touch with Felicity even after we broke up. And for that I’m so grateful to her. Felicity needed more than I could give her and we don’t have any other family around. I didn’t want to break up with Emmanuelle, I would’ve done anything to make it work with her. But again, neither of us were in the position to move to be with the other. And I’m still not able to do that.

“I’m going to go to the resort and talk to Karen about the memorial,” I say to Paxton.

“Okay. Are we still closing the store on Saturday?”

“Yeah. I don’t want to hire anyone to run the store. And I want all of us to go.”

“Are you coming by the store today? A customer came in yesterday asking for your popcorn.”

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