The thought of stepping back into Beans & Babes, surrounded by the comforting scent of coffee and the familiar buzz of customers, makes my heart ache with longing.
It's my sanctuary, my piece of normalcy in this chaotic world I've found myself in.
"I just need to feel like myself again," I admit quietly. "Is that so wrong?"
Aziza reaches out, squeezing my hand. "Not at all, honey. We all cope in our own ways. If work helps you, then that's what you need to do."
I squeeze back, grateful for her understanding.
Tomorrow can't come soon enough.
I need the routine, the familiarity.
I need to prove to myself that I'm still me, still strong, still capable.
As we continue preparing dinner, I can't help but wonder if Tor will understand.
Will he see that this is my way of healing, of moving forward?
Or will it be another source of conflict between us?
I push the thought aside.
Right now, I need to focus on getting through this evening.
Tomorrow, I'll face whatever comes.
One step at a time, that's how I'll make it through this new life I've chosen.
The savory aroma of our homemade chili fills the air as I slide the dish onto the counter.
My stomach growls, reminding me it's been hours since I last ate.
I glance at my phone for what feels like the hundredth time, my heart sinking when I see my latest message isn't from Tor.
I still need to read his messages, ugh.
"All right, ladies and gents! Dinner's ready!" I call out, my voice echoing through the clubhouse.
As if on cue, Runes appears beside me, his weathered hand landing gently on my shoulder. "Smells amazing, sweetie," he says, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "He's out on a run, you know. He'll be back and can warm up some dinner, promise."
I swallow hard, trying to keep the worry from my voice. "Any idea how long he'll be?"
Runes shrugs, his expression turning serious. "Depends on how things go. You know how it is."
I nod, but internally, my mind races.
Is Tor in danger?
What kind of "run" is this?
The possibilities swirl in my head, each one more terrifying than the last.
"Well," Runes continues, breaking into my spiraling thoughts, "I'm gonna grab a plate before the vultures descend. This smells too good to miss out on."
As he moves away, I force myself to take a deep breath.
Worrying won't bring Tor back any faster.