Page 89 of Manic

"Yeah, that’s what he fucking said," I snap, then immediately regret my tone. "Sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay," Aziza assures me. "You're allowed to be upset."

I take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions swirling inside me. "I just... I thought we were making progress, you know? And then he goes and pulls this shit."

Aziza turns off the stove and faces me fully. "Meghan, can I ask you something?"

I nod, bracing myself for whatever's coming.

"Do you love him?"

The question hits me like a punch to the gut.

Do I love Tor?

"Yes, I always have," I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. “Everything between us is just so complicated.”

Aziza's expression softens. "Love often is. Especially in this life. He loves you too. Anyone can see it."

I scoff, the bitterness rising in my throat. "Yeah, he's got a funny way of showing it sometimes."

Aziza reaches out, her hand gently squeezing my arm. "Men in this life, in the club... they don't always know how to express themselves. Especially when it comes to emotions."

"That's no excuse," I argue, but there's less heat in my words now.

"No, it's not," Aziza agrees. "But it might help explain why he left like that."

I sigh, leaning back against the counter. "Maybe. I just... I hate feeling like this. Uncertain. Off-balance."

"It's natural to feel that way," Aziza assures me. "Especially after everything you've been through."

Her words bring a fresh wave of memories crashing over me.

My coma, being next to my bedside all of those years ago.

Through it all, Tor's unwavering presence.

His strength when I felt weak, his warmth when I was cold with fear.

"He was there for me," I whisper, more to myself than to Aziza. "Through all of it. He never left my side."

Aziza smiles softly. "That says a lot, don't you think?"

I nod, feeling some of the anger drain away, replaced by a confusing mix of emotions I can't quite name. "Yeah, I guess it does."

"So maybe," Aziza suggests gently, "this is just a bump in the road and everything will be fine soon enough."

I push off from the counter, restless energy coursing through me. "I just wish he'd talked to me instead of walking away. We're supposed to be partners, aren't we? Equals?"

Aziza tilts her head, considering. "In an ideal world, yes. But... life is complicated."

"Don't I know it," I mutter, pacing the length of the kitchen. "Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. All this drama, all this uncertainty."

"Is Tor worth it?" Aziza asks, her question stopping me in my tracks.

I turn to face her, my heart pounding in my chest. "I... I don't know. Maybe. Probably." I run a hand over my face, feeling suddenly exhausted. "God, when did my life get so complicated?"

Aziza laughs softly. "I think that's a question we all ask ourselves at some point."

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