Page 141 of Empowering the Wolf's Heart

I turned and dust poofed as I smacked my face against his chest and wrapped my arms around him. “Are you ok?” I whispered.

His entire body shook as he released a sigh. “Not yet. But I will be.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

He leaned his head against my hair. His heartbeat raced against my ear. “Is it wrong to feel relief instead of pain, but to mourn everything that had made her as she was?” he asked at last.

I squeezed him tighter, and it was almost as if I felt his pain in that moment as I did with Ran. His soul cried. “Shen, only you know the years you spent with her. Only you know the pain—and sometimes the joy—you felt at her hand. You’re the only one who can grieve her as you can; no one can tell you how to do that. Not even yourself. You can only grieve.”

His shoulders trembled. I held him as he dealt with something that only he could handle. I could be there, but I couldn’t ease his pain.

“Thank you,” he whispered at last.

The knowledge that this could be the last night I had with him made me hug him tighter. “I don’t wanna see you die with us,” I whispered.

“You know I am not going anywhere, Little Red. So long as you let me, I will be by your side.”

“You should leave. We won’t win this battle.”

He leaned back, tipping my chin up with his finger. “Do you not know better by now?” He leaned down and kissed my forehead. “The only battle truly lost is the one surrendered before it has begun. Do not lose hope. Not yet.”

I plunked my face against his chest. “When did you become an optimist?”

His chuckle thawed a hint of my cold soul. “When my little ray of sunshine went behind a cloud.”

“Are you calling me a pessimist?” I mumbled against his tunic.

“Does a fenbutt smell?”

That startled a laugh from me. And I knew in that moment the one thing I wanted before the battle.

“No regrets,” I whispered.

His eyes were dull with pain but sharp with something I couldn’t name. An edge both wild and untamed, broken and ravaged. His nostrils flared as he sniffed the air.

His thumb gently traced the curve of my cheek, his hand coming to cradle the divot of where my chin met my neck, my pulse beneath his middle finger raging with a life all its own. “Are you certain? This is not a choice to make quickly, Carissimus,” he whispered, as if he'd read my very mind.

A smirk turned my lips. “I’ve known from the moment I shoved you over that cliff, you big hunk of werewolf.”

His lips twitched and his eyes shined with happiness. “You fell for me then?”

My smirk grew into a grin. “So what if I did? Tomorrow?—”

His eyes darkened and gold rimmed them. “No talk of tomorrow. If this is what you want, then we will. But only if you should wish it. Not because war is coming. Not because you will regret it if not. But becausethisis the choice you desire.”

I stared at him, his eyes so serious, so gentle as they searched my face. I remembered all the things we’d been through. How he’d been my staunchest supporter even when it went against his very making. He’d allowed me to set the tone of our relationship even when his wolf craved more. I’d spoken with Doc who said most werewolves marked their fated mate the moment they met them. That Shen had waited and not killed every male in a five-mile radius was nothing short of a miracle, he’d said. Shen had protected me, even from himself. He was loyal, compassionate, and most of all, kind. He wasn’tgood.He was Shen. My Shen.

Behind the gentleness in his dark eyes, buried deep beneath what he attempted to show, was a fear that he wasn’t good enough. That he was too dark.

Staring into those eyes, I saw it all. The fear. The pain. The sorrow. And the darkness. I covered his hand with my own, leaning into it. “I see you, Shen. And I’m not afraid.”

His eyes shuttered. For a brief moment, the emotions within warred for dominance. A flicker of gold came forth, then vanished. His breath washed over my face; it was a bit stinky, but I wouldn’t complain. Not now.

“You should be,” he whispered. “I am not a good man.”

A small smile crossed my lips. “I know. I’ve seen your darkness.”

“Not all of it.” His voice was nearly hoarse with the emotion he held back.

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