Page 40 of Broken Skulls

And now this.

I swallow hard, pinching my eyes closed tight to keep my emotions in check.

The sun breaks from between the trees, warming my face as my mind wanders to the place where Jacob took me the first time he let me out of the basement. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Well, other than my daughter. After being in the dark for so long, it was … different. It was as if I was seeing the world for the first time. The colors. Oh man, the colors were brilliant.

The dog sighs against my leg. I sigh, too.

It’s strange the contentedness I feel right now, even though I was just pulled from the safety of Jacob’s room.

There were so many people at his house this morning. That’s another thing that’s strange. Why were they all there?

The breeze teases the hair around my face, and it feels so good I could cry.

The nursing staff at the home never took me outside, and no one in my family ever came to check on me, so there I sat. In the filtered, dry air.

I take a deep breath, keeping my eyes closed. It smells like … life.

My fingers continue to run over the soft fur of the old dog that is still using my stomach as his pillow. I don’t mind. It’s nice even. A living thing that doesn’t know who I am, and even if hedid, he wouldn’t understand the complexities of what I’ve had to do in this life. He doesn’t know the world hates me. All he knows is that I’m warm and soft.

Soft …

I used to be soft on the inside too, but everything there has been calcified.

The dog picks up his head abruptly, and I open my eyes to see his floppy ears perk up. He sniffs the air. That’s when I hear the unmistakable rumble of a Harley, or two, rolling down the road.

His head falls back to my stomach. It eases my anxiousness a little. Dogs are the best judge of character. I had a dog once …

He died because of me. I squeeze my eyes closed again, ordering my mind to focus on something besides the evil man from my past.

The dog doesn’t even flinch when someone lies next to us. I don’t have to open my eyes to see who it is. His scent is permanently imprinted on my brain.

His fingertips brush over my forehead. “What are you thinking about?”

Everything with Jacob is different. I don’t know if it’s him though, or if it’s me. His scent, his touch, even his voice makes me internally confused. It’s like every cell in my body is jumbled. I imagine it’s the same when we’re born. The overwhelmingness of all your senses suddenly being activated.

I blink at him slowly, his face coming into focus. He’s propped on an elbow beside me.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

He laughs, bopping me on the end of my nose with his finger. “I’m fine. Now, what were you thinking about?”

“I was thinking about Simba.”

“The little lion onThe Lion King?”

I laugh. “No, but that’s where I got his name. I love that movie.”

Jacob lays his hand on my chest. “Ah, so a dog?”

“Yeah,” I sigh sadly. “He was a golden retriever.”

My eyes fall closed, picturing him in my mind’s eye. “When Danielle left for California, he was my only friend,” my voice cracks.

Jacob waits patiently for me while I struggle to compose myself.

“One day, I decided to ignore Mr. Baxter’s request to go to his home. He … he showed up at my house. I didn’t answer the door, but my dog was outside.”

I can’t say it.

---