Page 79 of Broken Skulls

“Okay, well, we’ll just leave the door cracked open a little in case you need something.”

I heard Jackson say she needed to be in our sight at all times. I’m not sure if that’s because she got away from them or if it’s because he thinks she might hurt herself. I’m not going to take a chance either way. I don’t want to fail her … or them.

I get busy setting everything she’ll need on the counter. Her gaze follows me as she sits on the toilet, hugging herself.

“You’re new. I’ve never seen you before,” she says, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, I guess I’m the new girl.” I chuckle lightly. “Jacob drove halfway across the country for me. He saved me from jumping off a cliff.”

Her eyes widen. “Who is Jacob?”

I forget he’s not Jacob to them. “JD.”

“Oh.” She drops her head, letting her dirty hair fall over her face. “He’s the quiet one.”

My butt rests against the counter. “What happened tonight?”

She sighs. “It’s not what you’re thinking.”

“What am I thinking?”

“No one made me do anything I didn’t want to. Things just got a little out of hand. It’s my own fault. I don’t know if the guys already told you, but I’m easy.”

“They didn’t tell me anything.” I sit on the edge of the tub. “Isn’t Ash your boyfriend?”

This makes her laugh. “No. He acts like he is, but we’re not a thing. I’m not dating material.”

I stay quiet, sensing she has more to say.

“He’s like a straight up hero. He doesn’t belong with a slut.”

She stops there.

“Why do you do it?” I ask.

Her brows furrow, and I know this is a question she’s asked herself many times.

“It doesn’t look like you enjoyed it.”

Her hand reaches up, and she pulls a leaf from her hair. “If I knew that, maybe I could stop. Because you’re right. I never liked it.” She chuckles sadly. “It’s never been enjoyable.”

“There’s your answer,” I say, standing and turning the water on for her. “If you’re not doing it for the pleasure, then maybe you’re doing it to hurt yourself. It’s a form of self-harm.”

When I turn back to her, she’s blinking at me wildly. The thought had never crossed her mind.

I kneel in front of her, placing my hands on her knees. “And this Ash guy. Maybe he used alcohol, drugs, whatever he’s in treatment for, to hurt himself. From the outside it might look like he’s trying to numb the pain, but he’s only adding to it.Maybe that’s why he doesn’t judge you like so many others have. He understands you. He sees you.”

“I’ve never thought of it …” she pauses. The gears in her mind are turning slowly as she processes what I’ve just said.

I stand up. “I’ll be right outside the door.”

Jacob is waiting for me in the hallway. “Everything good?” he asks after I pull the door partway shut.

My hand rubs over my chest as I look at him. Talking with Lexie made me realize something about myself. “I think I had been waiting for someone to save me. To take me away and shield me from the world.” I chuckle sadly.

“Hey.” He runs his hands over my arms.

“The entire time, I could have saved myself. Why didn’t I see it? Why didn’t I reach out to the people around me?”