Page 89 of Shadow and Skulls

Ouch.

I watch a flock of birds fly over, heading south for the season as we head across the road to our hotel. I’m hurt my parents don’t seem to see what I see in Tank. They’ll never give him a chance to show them who he is.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Kelsie

My mom’s words are still playing through my mind when I wake up the next morning. I didn’t sleep worth shit.

She’s holding the curtain back, a cup of coffee in her hand. JD is sitting next to her stretched out in a hotel chair.

I rub my hand over my face. “Are you guys waiting for me? You should have woken me up.”

The dark circles under her eyes tell me she slept about as well as I did.

“You needed your sleep, baby.” She drops the curtain and moves to sit with JD. “We aren’t in a hurry. Take your time.”

I drag myself from the bed. I’m going to see my mother today. Yesterday pricked at my memories and reminded me there was a time when I loved her. She was my entire world. I never knew my father. He left when I was a baby. She said he couldn’t handle her winter blues. We both knew it was more than a lack of sunlight that caused her depression. I don’t blame him, but he left me there. Not that I would want to change it now.

My fingers dance over the mirror as I stare at my reflection. I smile. Everything happened the way it needed to. I have everything I ever wanted. Dan and Lily, the twins, friends … Tank.

The rest of the morning, my confidence stays firmly in place until JD holds the door open to the nursing facility for my mother and me. Mom waits patiently by my side. I fight the urge to swivel my head, looking for him. I don’t want to upset my mom like I did yesterday. I know she doesn’t trust Tank the way I do.

“You don’t have to forgive her,” I hear Tank whisper in my mind.

It’s for me. This is for me.

When I finally get the courage to go inside, the staff instantly greets us. Everyone seems friendly. It’s not stuffy like I thought it would be. It’s actually pretty nice. That makes me feel better.

The director leads us to my mother’s room. Before she opens the door, she reminds me that my mom is nonresponsive. I nod. As soon as it’s open, I take a step back. The little girl inside me takes over. I rush to her bed, kicking my shoes off and climbing up beside her. I wrap both my hands around her pale one, curling my legs under me.

It’s so easy.

My mom and JD settle in a couple of chairs by the window as I stare at my mother. Her hair is more grey than blonde now. Her skin is thin and pasty. But she’s still my mom. I look back at Lily, and she smiles at me. I turn back to my biological mother. It feels the same, or close to it, and I think that’s okay. Maybe better than okay. I can love both of them simultaneously.

And that’s when I open up and tell her everything. I spill every moment … every secret.

Hours pass and no one stops me. It’s like I can’t bare for her to not know every minute she’s missed since we parted ways. Ileave nothing out. Evil men stole those moments from her, and I want to be the one to give them back.

“But I just wanted you to know what happened, so you wouldn’t have to worry anymore. I’m okay. I’m more than okay. I’m happy.” I draw my finger over the veins in her hand. “I love you.”

Her mouth falls open, and her eyes flutter. I jump off the bed, thinking she’s awake and I’m going to get to talk to her, but I realize very quickly that’s not what is happening.

Whatishappening?

My mom wraps herself around me, gently encouraging me to sit back down beside my mother. She sits behind me, leaning over to take my mother’s hand.

“I’ll go get a nurse,” JD says quietly as I drop my head to my mother’s chest and begin to weep.

I whisper goodbye over and over to make sure she hears me before her soul completely leaves her body. And then the frightening noises that have been coming from the back of her throat simply stop. Everything stops.

My mom hugs me, gently rubbing my back, and I thank God she is here, because that was a little scary. It was so fast. Minutes … seconds … just so fast.

After that, I zone out. I soon realize that death is only still and quiet for the person who dies.

Death has become a business. Things need to be decided immediately after. So many questions are being asked, but my mom takes over. She’s on the phone making decisions that probably should be mine. I feel bad for her; it’s been a rough week. My phone rings, and I look down at it. It’s Dad.

JD looks over my shoulder to see who it is. He grabs my arm, taking the phone from me. He answers it as he hauls me outside.

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