Page 85 of Shadow and Skulls

He leans forward, pressing his forehead to mine. Then, he wraps me tightly in his arms, tucking my face into his chest and holding it there.

“I’ll hold all the pieces together. Go ahead,” he says quietly.

The first tear runs down his torso, disappearing in the smattering of hair low on his stomach.

“A girl needs more than her dad,”I heard Dirk say to Jesse as they drove me over here.“I hate to admit that, but we both know it’s true.”

Dirk brought me here because he knew I needed my person. Tank has become my person.

I let go, crying into his chest. Memories flash through my mind, the next starting before the current one ends. I didn’t get enough time with my grandmother. I’m not sure she ever really knew me, but I knew her. It was easy with her. There was nothing for her to hide behind. She couldn’t hold on to anything long enough to shield herself. Her thoughts were fleeting, and because of that I could see her soul plain as day. It was bright.

“My dad must be so sad,” I groan after the tears of my own grief run dry, and I latch on to how this may be affecting others in my family.

Tank picks me up and sets us on the couch, keeping his arms around me. “He’ll be okay. He has his family to get him through this. He has you.”

I sit up abruptly. “I can’t go to Iowa tomorrow. He needs me.”

He grabs my chin. “Kelsie. Stop right there. There is no way Dan is going to go for that. Especially after he just lost his mom.”

“But …”

He shakes his head at me, still holding my chin firm. “I’m not saying I know your father as well as you, but think about it.”

And I do. My head falls when I realize he’s right. My dad doesn’t want my mother to die before I see her one last time. He doesn’t want me to live my life wondering if I should have seen her before she passes.

I’m so glad he got the chance to say goodbye to his mom.

My bottom lip begins to quiver. “I’m scared. I don’t think I can offer her forgiveness,” I admit shamefully.

“You don’t have to. I forgave my ex. I gave her forgiveness because I thought it would somehow release her from her pain. It didn’t work. She took a blade to her wrists the very next day. Even though she lived, she never spoke again. So don’t feel obligated to forgive your mom. It won’t help her the way you think it will. It’s not for them. They have to forgive themselves. Your forgiveness is for you … you need to forgive yourself forbeing angry at her, and when you’re ready for that, you say it to the girl in the mirror. She’s the only one who needs to hear it.”

“I am angry.”

“That’s okay, baby. Go visit her angry.” He stares into my eyes.

“You’ll be there?” I ask shyly.

“I’ll be there. You’ll always have a way to find me. Just don’t hurt yourself in the process,” he says, running his finger over the scratch on my cheek.

My hand wraps around his, holding it against my face. “Will you make love to me?”

He doesn’t answer me, but I see the wheels turning in his head. He’s thinking about it. I know we agreed to stay away from each other until my dad was okay with this, but I need to be close to him.

I roll my hips, teasing him. His rise off the couch in response, his hands dropping to my thighs.

“Stop,” he grits through clenched teeth.

My movements halt, our breath mingling as we stare at each other.

“I’m a man of my word,” he says, and I can see how painful this is for him.

I’ll go mad if I don’t have him inside of me soon. I need him to shut off my brain, if only for a few seconds.

“Well,” I begin, resuming the slow roll of my hips. “You told me you’d always be where I can find you …” I let my words trail off, dropping my face to the side of his neck. I lick my way up to his ear. “Come out, come out wherever you are,” I whisper seductively.

His head falls back, and he lets out a groan. “You are a wicked wicked woman.”

“I want you, Tank. You. Won’t you come out to play?”

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