Page 51 of Roses and Skulls

“Listen to me. Things are not as bad as you think they are. I’m going to find you, Billie Rose. Just promise me you won’t hurt yourself.”

My eyes roam over to the blade I dropped on the floor earlier. I almost ended it all and then I heard them…whispers from Heaven.

I choke on a sob. “I… I promise.” And then I disconnect the call.

My finger scrolls over all of the messages from my family.

They don’t sound mad, but how could they not be? I’m not strong like the rest of them.

Mom: Baby, come home.

Cole: Carson and I will steal dad’s truck and come get you. We can be outlaws, together. Tell us where you are.

The thought of the twins stealing Dan’s truck makes me chuckle. I have no doubt they would do it too.

Dad: Baby girl, I’m not mad. Please come home.

William: I’m sorry I pushed you when you weren’t ready. I can’t handle seeing your mom so upset. Please call her.

Dan: I’m going to turn you over my knee, little girl. Pick up the phone.

Rachel: Honey, please call me. I’m here for you.

Message after message keeps coming in and the longer I sit here the more scared they sound.

Jackson: I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t see it. You must hate me. Please don’t do anything stupid. I’ll never forgive myself if you do.

Oh, Jackson. I could never hate you. You’ve been my best friend my whole life. But how do you not hate me? I’ve been a terrible friend.

Swiping at my eyes, I sit up straighter. Elijah will never find me. I made sure to shut the location off on my phone when I got in the rod. My finger runs over the metal box, stopping on the latch. I flip it and open the box in one swift movement, leaning over it to peer inside.

I smile at the knife. It’s beautiful. It’s gold, and black with a bald eagle painted on each side. I flip it open and run the flat side of the blade over my jeans, and then I pull out the book, opening it up.

The first pages are revealing. Grandpa had been in prison. Is that why he missed so much of mom’s life? Oh, my god, he killed Crow’s brother. I flip through, seeing her name scribbled on the edge of the pages. It must have been so hard for him… and her.

And then the ugly stories that Raffe told me about my mom come pouring from the pages.

I want to kill them. Every single one of them. But how can I leave my baby girl again? Especially, when she’s hurting so badly.

Licking my finger, I flip farther in his story, not wanting to read the horrors that my mother suffered and then I see my name.

I didn’t think I could love anything as much as I love Jesse but then she gave me a granddaughter. What a beautiful thing she is. Her name is Billie Rose. I made a promise to her, that I would always be there for her.

So, I’m laying my secrets here, along with all the trinkets that remind me of the man I used to be. I need to be better for this new little girl. She is going to change us all, for the better. She is the innocence that we all crave. My only concern is that life is going to come along and steal it from her.

Her tiny eyes sparkle with something special… I hope she never loses it. We’re all going to do our darndest not to let that happen.

And that is where it ends. No! There has to be more. Where are all the secrets?

I dig through the box, pulling out a skull ring, some old concert tickets, brass knuckles and a joint. At the very bottom, I find receipts to a place called Bell’s House of Tail. They are for hundreds of dollars, every month, for years.

Bell’s House of Tail? What the heck is that? Whatever it is, Grandpa spent a lot of money there.

Then it hits me.

No.

I google it and sure as shit. It’s a whorehouse over in Trap County.

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