Page 18 of Roses and Skulls

Lanie sits down, fixing him a plate. “Go on, Billie Rose, help yourself. I know this is your favorite.”

It looks amazing,the man with an Australian accent tells her via my phone.

I chew on my bottom lip, wishing I could use my own voice. Suddenly, my silence feels different. It’s like he’s winning in some way.

The grin on his face makes me think he can read my mind. He strokes his beard, looking at the spread on his plate. “You’re going to do great at culinary school, baby, it will be worth every penny to see you succeed.”

Wait. What? I pause mid chew.

“Draven, I hadn’t had a chance to tell Billie Rose yet,” Lanie gently scolds him.

He runs his tongue over his teeth, his eyes narrowing in on me. “Oh, I’m sorry.” Draven leans over and kisses her on the cheek.

“It’s okay.” She looks at him adoringly before turning her attention to me.

“I was going to tell you tonight.” She bounces in her seat. “Draven is paying for me to go to culinary school. I’m leaving next week, I’m so excited. It’s my dream.”

I swallow and wipe my mouth with my napkin, trying to muster some happiness for her.That’s great.I avoid looking at Draven.Where are you going?

“It’s kind of far away.” She frowns, looking at her lap.

Draven’s fork scrapes across his plate. He continues to eat with gusto, enjoying the little skit playing out in front of him.

How far?I pick up my fork and stab a potato.

She taps her red nails on the table by me to get my attention. “Billie Rose, please don’t be angry but it’s the best school. It’s… it’s in New York city.”

I cough into my napkin, laying my fork down on the edge of my plate.I’m not angry, Lanie, this is your dream. You’re right. I’m sorry, I’m just sad.

“I know, me too but you could go with me,” she suggests cautiously. “I don’t want to go alone. Draven can’t go with me because guess what?” She doesn’t give me a chance to respond. “He bought the bar!” she exclaims. “When I graduate, we’re going to make it into a restaurant. So, please come with me.” My gaze shifts from her to Draven. He pretends not to care either way.

I think about it. I could leave this place behind. Forget about everything that’s happened. Maybe I could find some freedom there.

He picks up his glass and looks at me over the rim. Excited for my response. I realize now that he has been the conductor of my life for the past three years. I offer Lanie a gentle smile.I have a lot of unfinished business here.

She leans back in her chair and shakes her head sadly. “When are you going to stop letting them dictate your life?”

If only she knew who has really been in charge.

Lanie turns to Draven. “Do you know this girl has never been kissed? She hasn’t even held hands with a boy.”

My mouth falls open at the abrupt change in her attitude towards me. She doesn’t even sound like my friend at the moment.

Draven sits forward, giving her his full attention. This bit of information pricks his interest.

I grab her hand, but she pulls away. “No, this is ridiculous. You’ve let your parents and that club control every aspect of your life. You don’t even have a fucking driver’s license.”

She tosses her napkin down on the table and stands up. “I’m sorry, I just had hoped…” she sucks in a deep breath, “never mind. I need some air.” She rushes out the door.

Draven and I stare at each other quietly before I slam my fist down on the table and rush to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

Kicking off my shoe, I slide my pants down to my ankles and drop the lid on the toilet, sitting down on the cold porcelain. Once I dig the blade out from my shoe, I pierce my skin and take a deep breath. My head falls back as blood runs down my leg, dripping onto the linoleum.

The door jiggles but I ignore it. I make another small cut for good measure.

Unbelievably, the door opens. Draven steps in, holding a bobby pin in front of his face. “Living with women taught me a lot of things.” He kicks the door shut behind him and crouches down in front of me, holding my eyes hostage.

“You know, I have a better way,” he suggests. He tips his head, studying me.

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