Page 125 of Roses and Skulls

We stare at each other for a few seconds.

Kelsie’s mouth twitches and the first smile I’ve ever seen from her, pulls at the corner of her lips. “I am excited,” she says.

I shove Jackson’s letter in her hands. “Go on, enjoy your letters.”

She gathers them all up and she giggles minutes later. “This Jackson, he is funny.”

I’ve never heard her laugh before. I need to remember to give Jackson a big hug when I get home for making my friend so happy.

For the next several days, she carries those letters with her everywhere, and I notice that she’s been writing back to each person. It warms my heart.

Lanie wanted a family like mine, she said so herself. Maybe I should have listened to her more. Been a better friend. I can’t change the past, but I can learn from it. I’ll never let Kelsie feel like my family is not her own.

I’ve come to terms with many things over the past eight weeks. Away from everything, I’ve been able to take a long hard look at myself. The Billie Rose that I used to be before grandpa died is never coming back but parts of her have. I’ve come to accept the new version of myself. Still a little naïve, and snippy, and sometimes revengeful. But the new version lets herself feel. All of it. Even the pain.

This place has given me the tools I’ll need when I get home. There is still so much to go through. Life is rarely easy and almost never fair, but it is worth it.

It’s all about family and friends and I have the best of both.

When Dan and Lily come for Kelsie, to take her home, my uncle pulls me aside. His eyes roam over my figure and I know what he’s wondering. “Are you nervous to take her home?” I ask, deflecting his attention from me.

“No,” he says seriously. Dan has more confidence than anyone I’ve ever met. “Are you okay with it?”

My head pulls back in surprise. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, for one, you’re not going to be the only girl anymore.” His eyebrows pull together, and I see how much this has been weighing on his mind.

I laugh. “Dan, that is a good thing not a bad one.”

“I don’t know, baby girl. You’re awfully spoiled,” he teases.

I take his hands in mine. “I’m thrilled that Kelsie is going to get to know what real love feels like. She’s never had that.” My gaze travels to where my aunt and her are signing release papers. A tear slips down my face as Lily gently runs her hand down Kelsie’s short hair. “She’s afraid of the dark and tell the boys not to scare her like they do me. You have to approach her lightly,” I tell him, biting my lip to keep any other traitorous tears at bay.

Dan watches his wife and soon to be new daughter. “I already want to lock her in her room and keep all the boys away from her,” he admits.

“Don’t do that. Just… just be there for her if she needs you.”

His eyes make their way back to me, his gaze yet again dipping to my stomach, the question he’s dying to ask on the tip of his tongue. “I didn’t steer you wrong that day at the lake, did I?” he asks. “Because I’m hoping I did right by you.”

“You stayed by my side and let me make the decision myself. I don’t regret anything. No worries.”

He breathes a sigh of relief. “Good, I’m glad it all worked out.”

My legs itch, but I count to ten in my head, using every skill taught to me to control my anxiety. “Yes, everything always seems to work out for the best, doesn’t it?”

He nods as Lily and Kelsie make their way over to us.

Kelsie drops her eyes shyly as she approaches. I gently place my arm around her shoulders. “I’ll be right behind you in a few days.”

She smiles up at me brightly and I know in that moment that it’s true that everything happens for a reason, and it will work out, maybe not the way we think but the way it’s meant to be.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Elijah

I’ve been waiting for this day for three months and now it’s finally here. Billie Rose and I have been sending letters to each other. Old school shit. Honestly, I think it’s what we both needed. It’s been nice getting to know each other on a deeper level. Sometimes, it’s easier to spill your guts through pen and paper.

Her letters always smell of her and it’s about killed me. I want her in my fucking arms so bad. I was thrilled when she asked me to come get her. Bring the bike she had wrote. Her old man wasn’t too happy about it, and I saw the hurt in Jesse’s eyes, but I didn’t have it in me to care. My own selfishness won.

---