Page 86 of All Your Firsts Without Me

I glance around the house, looking down at my boys. They aren’t paying us any attention, trying to stack blocks like their sister.

Kat points down the hallway. “She’s in the bathroom.”

Kaden nods his head. “Go on. I’ll keep these little monsters busy.”

“I’m not a monster,” Kathryn tells him with a huff.

He laughs, setting her back on the ground.

I knock on the bathroom door. “Honey?”

The water comes on and she mumbles an “I’ll be right out.”

I’m having none of that. I push the door open to find her splashing cold water over her face. When she rights herself, her eyes are swollen and red-rimmed.

“What’s wrong?”

She shakes her head, unable to speak. She steps around me, walking back into the living room. Kade rises from the floor when he sees us. She waves for him to follow.

Him and I exchange a nervous look. I shrug my shoulders. What the hell is wrong?

She opens the door to the garage, heading towards the back hatch of her minivan. After opening it, she steps back, covering her mouth to stifle a sob. She points inside. Kade and I both lean around to see what has her so worked up.

It’s tubs and tubs of letters. Her whole back end is full.

“I… I checked the foundation’s mail and there was a notice that our box was too full, so I went inside and they…” she leans over, bracing her hands on her knees. “There’s more…lots more. We’re going to need to make several trips.”

Kaden pulls one out. “What are they?”

She starts crying but it quickly turns to laughter. “He’s such a smartass.” She crosses her legs like she’s fixing to pee her pants.

“I’ve opened dozens of them. They’re all about David.”

She pulls one out and opens it, reading it aloud.

Dear April,

I’m writing this after seeing you on the AMAs. You and Westin were amazing. Anyhow, I wanted to share my story with you.

Officer Langston pulled me over for drunk driving one night. I thought my life was over. I was angry and embarrassed, I thought my wife would leave me, take the kids. I cried like a baby as he cuffed me. He was kind, but he was a hard ass at the same time. Needless to say, I wasn’t too happy with him.

The next morning, I found out my wife had posted bail. When I stepped outside, there she was with the very officer who had arrested me. He put his hand on my shoulder and told me I needed to make some changes, but I hadn’t lost everything.

He made me take a good long look at her. “Don’t forget this moment,” he had said.

And I didn’t. I remember it clearly to this day. Actually, I think about it every day. It’s a big part of my sobriety.

Anyhow, I wanted to share my story with you. He was a great man.

Sincerely,

Jonathan North

We stare at the mountain of letters spilling out the back of the van. Kaden grabs another one.

To David’s family,

Wow, I saw April and Westin on the AMA’s and you guys rock. I’ve played your album over and over again.

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