Page 70 of All Your Firsts Without Me

She’s a pretty little thing. We all shake hands as the auditorium begins to fill.

“Can Carly sit with you guys? I’ve got to go get ready.”

“Absolutely,” I say, grabbing her hand and pulling her down the rows of chairs, Westin follows behind us. I want to be front and center for this.

“We should save some seats for the others,” Westin suggests, draping his jacket across a couple of seats, then he helps me out of mine, doing the same to it.

I turn to Carly as we sit down. “It’s good to finally meet you. Kade said you are a criminal justice major.”

She nods shyly. “I am. I’m hoping to be a crime lab analyst someday.”

My eyes widen. “Wow, that sounds interesting.”

She nods, excitedly. I like her. David would have too.

Teresa, Jeff, Giles, and Bev all show up a few minutes later, grumbling about traffic. I have just enough time to introduce them to Carly before the ceremony starts. I take picture after picture, wanting to capture this special moment for Kade. David would have been so proud of him.

Later that evening after we’ve checked into our hotel, we all meet up for dinner. Kade takes advantage of another opportunity to scare me, making me spill water down the front of my shirt. I smack him in the arm, but I secretly love it.

We share the story with Westin and Carly of how our little game started.

“I’m a god, babe,” he tells Carly, pulling her close to him. “I got her to talk without my dad being around.”

“That’s quite the story.” Westin says, throwing a wink my way. “I’ll have to remember that when she’s giving me the silent treatment.”

Everyone laughs at his joke.

The night is wonderful. It’s so nice to all be together again. Westin seems comfortable. Carly seems to be warming up to us as well.

Giles stands up, clinking his knife to his glass of water. “I have a toast to make. Here’s to Kaden making it through college.” Everyone claps. “Also, I have some good news. Kaden has been accepted to the Long Beach Police Academy.”

The room darkens, as everyone congratulates Kaden. I thought he would be coming home. School is over but that’s not how it works, does it? Usually, kids don’t come back home after college. What was I thinking? And the police academy? I was hoping that was just a phase. I thought it would pass and he would move onto something else. I guess not.

Westin squeezes my knee under the table. I glance at him. His eyebrows are pulled together in concern. I plaster on a fake smile and push away from the table, standing to congratulate Kade. “That’s great, Kaden. Your dad would be so proud.” He gives me a big hug.

“Awe, thanks, April. I’m so fucking excited. I can’t even tell you.” He turns and looks at Carly. “We are getting a place together. We’ve signed the lease and everything. I’m so happy.”

“Wow, yeah, that’s exciting.”

Giles and Kaden begin talking about the academy. Giles telling him everything he knows. I excuse myself to the ladies’ room, hoping I make it there before the delicious dinner I just ate comes spewing out all over this stupid, fancy restaurant.

I walk briskly, shoving the door open and collapsing on the floor in front of the toilet. Everything comes up at once. Including my liver and at least one kidney. When I’ve emptied my stomach, I pull myself up to the sink, rinsing out my mouth and splashing cold water on my face.

Kaden is going to be a police officer, just like his dad.

He could get shot, just like his dad.

He could die, just like his dad.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Just a minute,” I yell. Quickly, I straighten my hair, rock my head back and forth on my shoulders and take a deep breath. Just get through the rest of dinner. It’s almost over.

When I open the door, I find Carly leaning against the wall outside of the bathroom. “I was scared at first too,” she says quietly.

My shoulders drop. “I can’t lose him,” I whisper.

“I researched the academy. He’s going to get the absolute best training.”

---