Page 57 of All Your Firsts Without Me

“Is everything okay?” I ask, sitting down at the table.

He sets the dish in the center, cutting a slice for me before putting one on his own plate. “Yeah, fine. Everything’s good.”

He’s nervous. The kind of nervous that makes you feel like jumping out of your skin.

“This is really good. Where did you learn to cook?” I ask, trying to soothe his mood.

“My mom. It was one of the few things we did together. I spent most of my time with my dad. He was my football coach in high school. We had a lot in common.”

“Are you an only child?”

“Yes. My mom and dad had a baby before me, but she was stillborn.”

“Oh, that’s so sad. I had five sisters,” I tell him.

“Do you keep in contact with them?” he asks, pouring me a glass of wine.

“No. I wouldn’t even know what to say to them. We are… different.”

Finally, he allows his gaze to settle on me. “You are different. You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met.” His green eyes hold so much admiration, I have to look away. It’s too much.

“I’m nothing special,” I say, taking a sip of my wine.

“I have to disagree with you on that.”

My cheeks heat and I glance away from him, focusing on the waves rolling in.

“Do you want to read the letter?” he asks.

My head whips back to him. “What?”

“The letter. Are you not curious?”

“He wrote it to you. If he wanted me to read it then he would have addressed it as such.” I stab my fork into my delicious casserole, ignoring his stare.

Out the corner of my eye I see him pull a piece of paper out of his pocket, meticulously unfolding it. I tap my fork on the edge of my plate. “You don’t have to…”

He starts reading, cutting me off.

Westin,

I’m sure April was disappointed that this letter wasn’t for her. But if she is to this point then the only word she needed to read was your name on the envelope. April doesn’t give her love to just anyone. She trusts you. My only advice is to encourage her to keep the lines of communication open.

Now back to you. I’m so happy for you, Westin. You’ve become such an important person in my life and now in hers. I was so worried that when I died, April would die with me. Thank you for giving her a second chance at love. She deserves it. You deserve it too. You’re worthy of being loved.

We’ve talked to great extent about your injuries, and the self-confidence you lost. She trusts you, now it’s your turn to trust her. She married a man in a wheelchair, Westin. April looks past the physical. Her love is pure.

I’m going to tell you something about myself that I know she won’t. One thing you might have noticed is she is a fierce protector of those she loves. She would never share my insecurities. Never. So, here it goes... I could not make love to my wife. My spinal injuries prevented it. We found our own way to love each other, and it was wonderful, but that is not the point. The point is, she won’t care about your leg, your scars, or anything else. She only cares about you, Westin.

Don’t be afraid to let her love you… I promise you won’t regret it.

Your friend forever and a day,

David

P.S. I hope you understand what this means. I’ve written letters for all the firsts without me, but this is truly a first for her…. make it special.

My heart is beating out of my chest. I want to run. Boy, do I want to run, but I made a promise and I keep my promises.

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